Link to character workshop topic: Click !

Rank Applying For: Novice

At least three of your recent role play topics:

• all my love,
• Confusion in a [cup]
• c'mon, baby, SHAKE IT

Why you feel that you should move up: I feel that I'm ready to. I've gotten a handle on roleplaying a Hogwarts character, something that I've been hesitant to do for years. I enjoy playing Dorian and feel as though I'm getting a better feel for his character as more threads go on. I'd like to improve my post length a tad more, but I feel that I've completed the qualifications for a Novice title. I have a proper grasp on sentence structure, spelling, and punctuation. I think I'm definitely ready to advance. :3

Hey, Kay!
Oh look, that rhymed. Anyways, if you're ready for review, please put an asterisk (*) in your topic title for us, alright love?

Whoopsie poopsie! (Aww... yours was cooler. D: )

All done! Review away. :3

OKAY. LET'S GET THIS THING ROLLING. I am Lily (of course) and I will be your first reviewer today~~ it's my first review, too, so we're pretty much in the same boat. May I also take a moment to Oscar Wilde fangirl. ANYWAYS.

Profile.
It's very impressive. I haven't gone through it in super-detail, but as far as I can see, there are very few grammatical issues. Now, in the appearance, I'd like it better if you described his facial features, body proportions, etc a little more. What you have is amazing and detailed, but unfortunately, a lot of people are blind with dark hair (well, not a lot, but you know) and they all have different faces, I'm sure! Also, err...I'm really curious as to what Dorian thinks about himself appearance-wise. Like, does he think he looks different from what he actually does, etc.,? Yes.

I'll be looking more in depth to the personality/history shortly! But what you have is quite beyond Novice level. (:

Posts.

All My Love
Okay, so, bonus points for a three-way thread! I love how you manage to work in the blindness factor naturally, like it's a part of him and just not some sort of special thing you wanted a character to have. If that makes sense. And may I just say that ARES IS ADORABLEEE. Major cat lover here. <3

Confusion in a Cup
It's really sweet. I really like your writing style, and you work in action and monologue very nicely. Not rambly but not over-saturated with too many things at once either. Huzzah! And as for your third topic, it's a BIT on the short side, but I'm looking forward to see how Dorian and Nox will interact. (:

Verdict.
Err yeah, basically I've been heaping compliments on you! Haha. Well, honestly, you are pretty much leaps above Novice so there isn't much to critique. <3 I'll be waiting for you at Intermediate, love!

APPROVED FOR NOVICE.

Aww!! Lily, I love you~! <3

Thanks a bunch for reviewing him! :D

Just so you know, love, don't reply until all three reviews are done. Doing so is considered bumping, which isn't allowed :)

Your profile meets all the requirements for Novice. I suggest running it through a spelling/grammar check. I saw some mistakes, but nothing too big. As for the content, you can expand and improve as your rank up.


Your writing meets Novice requirement 100%. I just suggest that you work dialogue into your post rather than bold it out, it tends to hurt the flow of reading.

all my love,

Good job working with more than one RPer. You do a great job interacting with Lucy and Amaya.

Confusion in a [cup]

I don't really have much to say about this topic.

c'mon, baby, SHAKE IT

The one thing that I think would be really intersting to explore is why the clothes he was wearing were his favourite. It obviously isn't because he likes the way it looks on him. You get a better grip of who your character is if you explore all their senses, it is even more important to do that if your character isn't able to use one of them.


I approve you for Novice

Der de der de der ...

Good morning! I'm Jay, and I'll be reviewer numero trois.

So. I have to say that I am quite impressed by the quality and detail you have put into your profile. It's a great length, and you've covered mostly everything we really want to know about your character. Kudos!

As for your posts ... I would also suggest, as Kenny already has, that you incorporate your dialogue into your paragraphs as well. It's an interesting style, but it is a little bit distracting from your posts themselves. Otherwise, I don't really have much more to say that Lily and Kenny haven't already ...

So, I approve your advancement to the the novice rank. Congrats!

KENNY
-- Oh goodness! There are a lot of mistakes in his profile. Thanks for the catch! I really hadn't been looking very well at them. I'll go over it again and tweak those out.

As for your suggestion about the boldness of his quotes, I've kicked that habit out of the water! No more! You were right. It takes you out of the writing and is, overall, quite unprofessional. Thanks for the tip!

JAY
-- Oh my gosh! Jay Kay, like JK! FUNNNNN!!!!

Erm. Anyways! As I said before, I've hamered out that blemish. Like I told Kenny, thanks for the tip! It seriously helped me see how ridiculous it looked.

----

Thanks to all three of you--Lily, Kenny, and Jay--for taking the time to read through my profile, my post, and approve me for novice. I really appreciate it!! :DDDD