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 you don't even bother anymore..., my sacha / kels
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May 14 2017, 10:15 PM   LINK Quote
Raisin was meddlesome for a cat, especially one of her pedigree. Tamsin had rarely seen her far from her brother's side, so to see her as far as the Great Hall with no inkling of Sacha's presence was startling at best, worrying as a worst case scenario. Realistically, it was probably just that Raisin had been scared by one of the larger, more common animals, maybe an owl, and had scurried away before Sacha could get to her.

That, of course, was the only way that the Sphynx could be standing before her in the outdoor corridor as she was making her way back up from the lake. She'd spent much of the day lying out in what little sun she could get, with her notebook between her and Caden. They were getting serious about this music thing, and she was excited about it; it was nice to be doing something with her ability to play multiple instruments. Plus, she really liked the boy and all his gentle quiet. He was better company that she could ever remember having.

Crouching carefully, far too aware of the way that her knees cracked uncomfortably when she did so, Tamsin reached out for the gorgeous creature, extending her hand and clicking her tongue to get her attention. With a little mewl, Raisin stalked closer, leaning up on her hind paws and pushing her furless face into Tam's outstretched palm. There was something so satisfying about petting a hairless cat, though the Slytherin girl couldn't ever really pinpoint just what that thing was. Maybe it was the weird, visible way that the cat's skin wrinkled and shifted as she moved her hand over her skin?

Petting her gently, she reached underneath the cat, scooping her up carefully. Sacha always got snippy with her when she moved too quickly, reminding her that Raisin wasn't as hearty as some of the mutts around the castle. To her credit, she was a vicious old lady who probably had at least another ten years atop her current seven, and Tamsin knew that her brother was just being protective because he loved the hell out of the animal.

Dainty claws hooked in the girl's crop top, Raisin riding happily in her arms as they descended from the upper world and into the bowels of the castle. “I don't know how you got outside, but you're going to get a sunburn like mine,” she informed her companion. The seven year-old feline replied with a curt chirp, and something in Tamsin felt thoroughly sassed. Huffing lightly, she continued to cradle the cat as she slipped into the common room behind a group of ickles who seemed quite pleased that they had remembered the location of the seemingly blank wall that was the portrait hole. Nodding absently at one of her roommates who threw a passing 'Hey, Tommie!', she slipped into the boys' dormitory, making her way into the seventh year dormitory.

Her brother wasn't in his room. Tamsin wondered if he had gone off to try and find Raisin. The cat in question let the redhead untangle her paws from the cotton of her shirt, and then jumped neatly to the bed, where she stalked her way to the pillows to the head of it. Tamsin followed suit, though she didn't stretch out so languidly as her hairless companion had. In fact, the black cat stretched and then curled herself so that she could lie close enough to attempt to groom Tamsin's thigh where the hem of her red shorts met grass-stained skin. “You're so weird,” she sighed, reaching out to pet the creature's wrinkly tummy. The sound of the door opening drew her gaze away, Tam finding herself looking up at her brunette older brother. “She was upstairs without you,” the younger Devereaux supplied, continuing to rub Raisin's tummy. That was all she could think to say. It was sickening, how she couldn't think of a single word to say to her big brother, the boy who had once been her hero. It was worse, still, that she couldn't save him.

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@Alexandre Devereaux

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think i can fly
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Baby I don't care if you got her in your heart


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Jun 9 2017, 04:06 PM   LINK Quote
Sacha was at a loss for words, if he were being honest with himself. How in the world could a cat--an ELDERLY cat, none-the less---manage to slip out of the Slytherin common room without one person noticing her? He hadn't even been gone an hour, but once he'd returned, the hairless cat had been missing from her usual position at the head of his bed. Since the elder cat never really had a wild streak as a youngster, this type of behavior was less than expected, and immediately sent Sacha into panic mode.

The Slytherin boy spent the better half of his afternoon interrogating any younger-years that had been in the common rooms that morning to witness her daring escape, but none confessed. Or, perhaps, none actually saw anything. If that were the case, then Raisin was a little more spry than the Devereaux heir previously thought.

After several hours of searching the dungeons and neighboring hallways (and after at least one hour of getting hopelessly turned around), Sacha's anxiety began to get the better of him. How could she have wandered off? He'd only left to go to the library for a moment. It hadn't taken him that long, and yet his beloved animal companion had decided to abandon him. But why? Perhaps he'd overlooked her in his own dorm. She could have easily buried herself under his clothes or bedding to keep warm. Despite it finally being summer, the Slytherin dorms were always a little on the chilled side.

Yes, that must've been it, Sacha thought as he half-walked half-jogged back to the Slytherin commons. She was there the whole time and I've just been a fool, yes, that's right. The seventh-year had been so busy convincing himself that he just hadn't been paying attention, that when he saw his sister laying on his bed he nearly jumped. Raisin was there, lazily licking the red-head's thigh in a poor attempt at grooming her. Sacha wondered for a moment if he looked as disheveled as he felt before his sister's words reached him.

"She made it all the way upstairs?" he asked. He huffed and gave his cat a somewhat frustrated look. He moved over to the other side of the bed and rummaged around for a spare sweater for the beast, finding only old and frayed ones.

"I've no clue how she managed to run away, but I've been looking for her all afternoon," he mumbled. Raisin chirped at him in what almost sounded like annoyance as he shifted her around to properly clothe her. "Was she outside? Don't tell me she made it all the way outside as well. I haven't put sunscreen on her today." While he could still feel the tension in the air, Sacha was much to preoccupied in the safety of his cat to pay too much attention to it.


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Jul 27 2017, 03:08 PM   LINK Quote
Had it not been for how stressed Tamsin immediately became when her brother was within her line of sight, the situation might have been comical to her. He looked as disheveled as he must have been feeling, and the redhead almost felt bad. For all his faults, Sacha loved his cat more than he disliked most people, and he didn’t ever want harm to come to her. Almost immediately, his focus was on the animal, partly because he’d been so stressed that she disappeared, but probably also partly because the idea of losing her really did send him into a panic.

Raisin’s little chirp as she was scooped up and shifted around so that she could be dressed properly brought a smile to the redhead’s painted lips. “She only made it as far as the Great Hall,” Tamsin informed her brother, biting delicately at the inside of her lip as she tried to figure out how to broach the subject, how to speak to him. It was uncomfortable, the heavy tension in the air, and felt almost like it could be cut with a knife and served up like cake at tea time.

“Idunn has new sweaters for her. She just hasn’t had the chance to get down here to give them to you,” she told him. Their aunt was still not doing well, slipping into misery and anger much the way Sacha was, and she didn’t know how to help either of them at all. You could only flee from your problems so long before everything caught up to you, and maybe that was what this was. “Liza and Kostya are bringing her and Kit to visit this summer. You should come with. We have no plans, aside from hanging out around the manor, but it could be good for you to get a break?” Tam was certain that he would say no, of course, because that was the kind of person that he was, and if she couldn’t get him to visit, then the chance that she could get him to stay in Russia with her was that much more diminished. “Plus, with a name like Sacha, you already fit right in.”

@Alexandre Devereaux

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think i can fly
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Baby I don't care if you got her in your heart


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Aug 27 2017, 05:52 PM   LINK Quote
Sacha bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from saying something he would regret. Only as far as the Great Hall? Only? As if a thousand terrible things couldn't have happened to Raisin between the boy's dorms and the bloody Great Hall. He chose to, instead, say nothing at all. His impulsive words would only make their strained relationship worse.

“Thank you for bringing her back,” Sacha said. He hoped his words sounded genuine even though he could hardly meet his sister's gaze as he spoke them. Well, regardless, he meant them whether she believed him or not.

Ah yes, their aunt. His hands slowed for a moment before going back to wrestling an old Christmas sweater onto Raisin's black, wrinkly skin. The last time he and Idunn spoke was that day at the lake. It felt like a lifetime ago to Sacha, almost as if it had happened to somebody else. Merlin's beard, if only. Perhaps he should speak to her again, given how, well, upsetting their last conversation ended...

It wouldn't happen. But it was a nice thought while it lasted.

However, Sacha did pause when Tamsin mentioned the lot of them going to Russia together. Spending some quality time with his siblings and his aunt Idunn, as tense as things may be, would be...well, nice.

But...

“I...I can't this time,” Sacha said. He watched his sister out of his peripherals, but he couldn't see her face. He supposed he didn't have to. He already knew her eyes would hold a “disappointed but not surprised” look.

“Well, I'm sure you've heard through the vine, but mother believes she has found a family worthy enough to at least meet, and she wants me to be there.” Sacha released Raisin back onto the bed, where she waltzed her way back to Tamsin's side. The Slytherin boy shrugged and looked at his shoes, as if thinking about getting married to some poor girl who was at least as miserable as he was didn't make him want to bury himself alive.

“Most likely they'll run to the hills the moment they realize just what kind of fate they'd be getting their poor daughter into, like all the others.” Though Sacha was not as certain as he'd hoped he sounded. Not to mention the look that would be on Caden's face when Sacha would eventually have to tell him the news.

“They're pureblood, obviously. From Egypt. Father seemed, well, as impressed as father could be, I suppose.”

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Sep 28 2017, 03:17 PM   LINK Quote
warning for minor flashbacks to childhood abuse in the internal dialogue


“You’re welcome,” she replied, though she kept her green eyes down to her pale legs. He sounded sincere. To someone else, he might have sound dismissive or flippant, but Tam knew her older brother as well as she knew their little brother. He meant it, even if he sounded like an asshole half the time.

The feeling of disappointment, but not surprise. Would it be ridiculously repetitive to say that she wasn’t surprised. The ginger kept the look off of her face, instead maintaining the blank expression that her mother had coached her to hold for years. She wanted, desperately, for Sacha to come with them, because she knew that if Liza and Kostya had their way -and they very well might- none but Idunn would return home. That was only because Maja took good care of her, and now that they had left Talfryn behind, she was much happier.

Raisin announced herself with a cranky sound as she sprang into Tamsin’s lap. Her little claws dug into the girl’s bare legs, pinpricks of red blooming on the snow-white skin. She didn’t so much as flinch, though her posture straightened as though her mother was digging the tip of her wand into the column of her spine. As if she’d turned on a switch triggered by the memory, the scars, no bigger than a cigarette burn might be, began to sting furiously. Her face twitched slightly in discomfort, but she didn’t say anything, one hand cradling the hairless cat carefully as the other began petting.

“If she wants you to be there, then that means that she intends on moving forward,” the middle Devereaux breathed softly, staring at a fixed point and not looking at her brother. In her mind’s eye, she could already see her brother falling apart after telling Caden that they could no longer be together, and she could see the way that her friend would shatter. One didn’t have to be a seer for that; their closeness was going to kill them if they weren’t careful, and even if they were, it was going to kill them otherwise. Her nose wrinkled at the mention of their father, the girl physically biting her tongue to keep from letting biting remarks leaving her rosy lips. She didn’t think highly of either of their parents, but where their mother was a monster, their father was her spineless henchperson, and even that wasn’t fair to Guillaume.

Some part of her wondered if he hoped, as much as her children had when they were young, that if they played her game, they would be allowed to be happy and free.

“The offer still stands, any time you feel like you want to come see us.” I want to take Kit, she wanted to say. I’m going to take Kit. Have you noticed his compulsions are getting worse? Have you noticed he's spiraling like I was? Have you noticed anything? “Liza and Kostya were always rather fond of you, you know.”

@Alexandre Devereaux

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think i can fly
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Alexandre Devereaux


Baby I don't care if you got her in your heart


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Oct 8 2017, 03:12 PM   LINK Quote
She intends on moving forward.

The statement made bile tickle the back of Sacha's throat, but he swallowed the urge to vomit. The Slytherin boy had been in denial about it all. Despite their mother's threats against the muggle-born, Sacha had allowed Caden to worm his way into his cold, seemingly dead heart.

Well, if it wasn't dead yet, it would be within the year. Regina would make sure of it.

The thought made Sacha's body ache all over. A small part of him wished he had never met Caden to begin with. You can't miss something you never had. Can't get your heart broken if you never gave it away in the first place.

His throat clicked when he swallowed again, throat dry as a desert. That same small part of him reminded that he did, in fact, know a spell that would solve that little problem.

But the way Caden smiled up at him with flashing colored lights illuminating his face? They way those same lights made his blue eyes sparkle in the night? The absolute pride in his eyes? Nobody had ever looked at Sacha with pride before. At least, not the way Caden did.

Not with love.

How selfish of the Devereaux heir to want to keep that all to himself. How selfish of him to want to remember it all, even though it would leave him screaming on the inside for the rest of his life.

"Liza and Kostya are good people," Sacha said with little emotion. He was far away, now. In a future that wasn't real, but inevitable. "Tell them I said thank you for the offer. I'll be sure to take them up on it someday."

He doubted it would ever come. But like many things, it was nice to think about.

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Oct 11 2017, 04:11 PM   LINK Quote
Yelizaveta wouldn’t take kindly to Sacha’s declining the invitation. For that matter, neither would Konstantin. Neither of her parents were particularly fond of her birth family, but the love that they held for her brothers was legendary.

Tamsin could feel her back tensing again, her hand stilling on Raisin’s tummy. The cat chirped in distaste, her meow not quite a squeak, but certainly not a full blown vocalization. She could sense that things weren’t okay between the siblings, but it didn’t take animal intuition to see that they hadn’t been family for years now.

“They’re offering sanctuary, Sacha,” she said finally, her tone almost pleading. “You snapped at me, months ago, when I gave Regina’s emerald earrings to a muggleborn to wear to a ball. You said that-” the words still made her so angry, but if the tables were turned, she would have said the same thing. “You said that we can’t all just cut our hair and change our names and be free, and I think that’s bullshit.”

She stood, knowing that he would pull away from her touch but touching anyway, her small hands finding his face in an echo of their childhood love, the way that they’d cared so deeply for each other before their mother forced them apart, crushed everything that now they fought to protect in Christophe. It was different from when they were little. Sacha was much taller than she was now, a whole nine inches taller; his jaw was more defined under her delicate fingers, his pretty blue eyes much colder, something almost dead about them, but the ghostly echo of the happy children they were still reflected there just the same.“You could come with us for the holiday and just not go back. We’ll take you, and we’ll take Kit. Home will actually be a home, you could have a family again. You’ll have people who are so proud of the man you’ve grown up to be in the short time that they’ve had the pleasure of knowing you, people that want you to become so much greater.”

“I know that you’re mad because I left. I know that you distance yourself from me and lash out at me because you’re bitter and angry, and it hurts,” she told him. “But I’m not going to stop fighting for you. That’s the thing about getting away. You go back to get the people you left behind. Just… stop telling me no, please. Just come with me. Pack a bag, take Kit, and just go.”

Tamsin was absolutely pleading her big brother at this point, and she knew that even as the tears started to well up, it wouldn’t do her any good. She was going to lose him the same way that Caden was, and it wouldn’t hurt any less the second time around.

@Alexandre Devereaux

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think i can fly
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Alexandre Devereaux


Baby I don't care if you got her in your heart


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Oct 19 2017, 11:08 AM   LINK Quote
That's bullshit.

The accusatory tone triggered something in Sacha. It'd been so long since he'd felt anything other than numb that the sudden jolt of anger was almost welcoming.

He could do angry. He could do it quite well, too.

He flinched when she reached for him, though that did little to stop her. She was so much shorter than him, yet Tamsin was able to make him feel like he was the smaller of the two.

And, Merlin help him, running away sounded so nice. Away from their cold hearted puppet-master of a mother. Leave behind their worthless coward of a father. It was the happy ending to the most exhausting of fairy tales.

But their life wasn't a fairy tale. Real life didn't work like that. Especially not his.

His sister--his sweet baby sister--was pleading with him. Begging him to run away. The child inside was screaming, banging his tiny fists against the cage Regina had built around him. Let me go! I wanna go! Please! Tommy!

Sacha slapped her hands away and shoved her, hard. The tiny red-head stumbled backwards landing on the bed, her eyes wide and shocked. The first time Sacha's laid hands on his sister in forever, and it was to push her away.

The voice of their mother bubbled up in his throat like bile, and the words spewed out like dragon fire.

"You were always meant to leave, Thomasin!" he boomed. "That's all you were good for! The only girl, the second born, the murderous twin with red hair!" His eyes were wild, his cheeks red, and his heart thumped in his chest like a stampede.

"You think you got out because you were sneaky?! Or lucky?! You think your new family saved you, or something?! No! You escaped because you weren't worth the effort to keep!"

She was across the bed now, out of his reach in case it wasn't only his voice he took after their mother.

"I'm not you, Thomasin. I'm not unwanted," he hissed like the snake he was. "You think Regina would let the heir to her precious legacy escape that easily? Even you aren't that stupid!"

No, Regina would cut out any escape he could run to. Caden and his muggle family? The first to go. Nobody would miss them. Tamsin and her Russian family? It wouldn't be easy, but Regina would stop until every safe-haven was snuffed out. A dead end every direction. No where to go except into his mother's waiting arms, her nails like knives digging into his shoulders and would you just stand straight, Alexandre!

He looked into his sister's eyes one more time.

"The only reason you're so free is because it was allowed."

@Tamsin Kapustina

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Oct 19 2017, 11:46 AM   LINK Quote
It was never meant to be easy. Regina had dug her claws into them and torn them apart when they were very young. Why should Tamsin have expected anything different than Regina’s hands becoming her brother’s? Their monster of a mother had spent many years poisoning them against each other. The redhead was surprised that it took him so long, surprised that he hadn’t turned hands and wand on her before.

Any lingering ties keeping them together severed the moment she sprawled across his bed. Raisin made an angry sound, getting up from where she had been lying and disappearing into the shadows under the bed. Shaken, but only for a moment, Tamsin moved so that the bed was between them, and she was struck by how similar it was to running from Regina, putting anything between them to get away until her baby brother slammed into her chest, screaming with childish rage at their mother to leave her alone. Kit wasn’t there now. Thank Morrigan. It would be much more disastrous, a lion cub caught between two cobras within spitting distance.

It was a strange feeling, to feel your heart break and know exactly what was happening. Her wand found her hand as if by instinct; she was too terrified to raise a hand to their mother, for all she’d done, but she had it in her to kill her brother if it meant saving her life, especially with the words that he hurled at her. She could hear their mother behind his words, flinching at the way he spat at her.

Had she been Kit, she might’ve burst into tears, staring at her big brother with wide, green eyes, and questioning with trembling, slick lips what it was that she did wrong, what she did to make him hate her.

But she wasn’t Kit.

She knew exactly what she’d done. It had been hissed down the back of her neck for a decade that was almost a century to a child. It was in her name, a name that she should’ve taken every opportunity to change when Liza and Kostya took her away. Some names were a gift, but hers was a curse, an eternal memory of the brother that she survived, the son that they had wanted.

I’m not unwanted.

“You think you’re so fucking precious, Alexandre?” she snapped at him. “A son that she views as no more than scum? The only reason she hasn’t had Caden murdered yet is because she knows the threat of his death is the only thing keeping you in line. The only other thing you have to live for is Kit, and Raisin; your cat is probably on her way out anyway, and she’s not going to commit filicide. Do you wanna know why? Because she won’t lay a hand on Christophe, and because she thinks that Christophe is pathetic, but she needs him just in case you fail. She’s not expecting you to be worth anything. Why else do you think that she’s forcing this marriage so soon?”

You only escaped because it was allowed.

“You’ll have a daughter one day,” she found herself hissing at him, her words as icy and venomous as the only voice she had ever heard from her mother. It was a tone that she knew well, a tone now that made her nauseous to hear coming from her own lips. “You’ll have a daughter,” she breathed like a curse. “Pale and freckled, with red hair, and she’s going to leave you alone with the burning world that Regina is enslaving you in. I hope she’s allowed to escape before you turn into our mother and destroy her love for you too.”

Knuckles white from the grip she had on her wand, she moved around the bed, making it clear with body language that if he moved toward her, it wouldn’t end well for him. “You can explain to Christophe. Maybe you’ll push him away too, while you’re at it. That’s all you’re good for, after all. You’re no better than Guillaume.” Her hand gripped the door, pulling it open. “Next time, find your stupid animal on your own.”

She had slammed doors before, but this one echoed with a sickening, hollow feeling.

Finality, something in her mind chirped. Regina had won.

She had finally won.

@Alexandre Devereaux

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Alexandre Devereaux


Baby I don't care if you got her in your heart


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Oct 28 2017, 01:57 PM   LINK Quote
Sacha's throat burned with the words he had said. The child inside shrieked in agony to take it back,take it back! Take it back before it's too late!

But the way Tamsin gripped her wand told him it was already too late.

(Sacha didn't grab his own wand. A small part of him wanted to, if only to give Tamsin the excuse of self defense. Alas.)

Every truth the red-head spat left a cut so deep and so painful that Sacha would have preferred to cut his own heart out of his chest. It would have hurt less, and taken less effort. But the way she spat at him--cursed him. You'll have a daughter one day. It made him shiver. Seemed more like a curse upon the child than to him, in the end.

He imagined his mother treating a child of his the same way she treated them--treated Tamsin, most of all. It made him feel ill. The way Regina had ripped them apart, not caring if she ripped actual flesh in the process, so long as she got her point across. He imagined her claws digging into their hearts the way a child might squeeze a tomato.

He swallowed back the bile. No child of his would go through that. He refused. It was bad enough he had allowed it to happen to his sister.

Though it wouldn't be worth much if he ended up like his father, like Tamsin said.

Sacha said nothing, and let his sister spew at him like an injured, feral cat might after it, too, had lost all hope. The dig at Raisin's mortality seemed shallow, but it made Sacha's heart sink all the same. Still, he bit his tongue until he tasted blood. He had done enough damage for one lifetime.

Tamsin slammed the door with the finality of someone turning their back for the last time, and Sacha's thoughts were quick to fill the silence.

This is what you wanted! His mind howled at him. She's gone! Gone! Never coming back, and she's taking Kit with her! This is what you wanted!

In that moment, as Sacha crumbled to his knees like a damned man praying, he hated Regina. Hated her so much that his body trembled with the ferocity of it.

Or maybe it was because of his sobbing.

It had been too long since he'd last let the tears flow. They were fat and heavy with the weight of a thousand broken hearts--his own and his sister's. Past, present, and future.

He held his head in his hands and cried. He cried for himself and what he would do. Cried for his siblings who's only chance was get out and run. He cried for Caden, and the broken heart he would soon experience on his own, unless Tamsin could get to him, first.

And he cried for Raisin, who was cautiously making her way towards her owner.

This is what you wanted! His thoughts continued to scream. This is what you wanted! This is what you wanted!

A small, naked paw pressed onto Sacha's knee, and another rested on the hand that was covering his face.

In one swift movement, Sacha had gathered the old cat in his arms and pulled her close. He pressed his face into Raisin's worn out sweater and sobbed as her purrs echoed in his ears.

This is what you wanted!

"Please," he choked into her skin. "Please don't leave me, too."

This is what you wanted!

@Tamsin Kapustina

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user posted image user posted image10/04/17user posted image
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