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 Hyun Lee - Elite
Mimi · 18 · 7th · neutral · ·
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Mar 10 2014, 02:06 PM   Link Quote

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A dr✧p in the ocean
 A change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together


we don't know how they got this job but at least they're fscking funny
EATONLEEYOON
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Mimi · 18 · 7th · neutral · ·
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Feb 27 2015, 02:10 AM   Link Quote
I’m sorry for the long app I had so much to say. >.<

Rank Applying For: Advanced
At least FIVE of your recent role play topics:

Note: threads that are too old to be included have been referenced in parenthesis.

the eden arc:
the eden that goes on with leo hartman

The Eden Arc is what I call Hyun’s series of revelations regarding the death of his childhood friend Robin, and the subsequent fallout. This arc has, and continues to be, the overarching plot arc I have with Hyun. Originally, it was just a part of his backstory I teased out and expanded into a plot, but since coming back, it’s morphed into an exploration of Hyun’s mindset. With the introduction of Jaesun Kim into the picture, the focus of this arc has shifted to looking at the ugly side of the idealized childhood that Hyun has pictured up until now. He’s had the image in his mind for so long that when he finds out otherwise, it’s devastating to him. In his mind, Robin was perfect, and the three of them, Robin and Jae and Hyun, were going to be best friends forever. But Robin is dead, and Jae didn’t tell him. Robin is dead, so Hyun can’t get mad at her. But Jae is still there, and so Hyun’s anger is all routed towards Jae, resulting in a fast and messy fight in the Great Hall (Eden of Our Dreams). The above thread is the immediate aftermath.

the tiny!hyun arc:
lost little baby lamb with celinda sutton

supplement: unboiling eggs with henry lestrade

This is a recent mini plot arc that’s still ongoing! Hyun, in partnering with Lindy for Potions, takes an Aging Potion that…doesn’t quite do what it’s meant to do, and he deages into a very confused toddler. Eventually, he ends up in the Hospital Wing, where one big kid (Henry) finds him, much to both their surprises. With this arc, I want to compare Hyun’s actual state as a child to what he thought he was like as a child—the actuality of Hyun’s childhood as opposed to his remembered one. It’s perhaps not obvious to him yet, how much things have changed, but I wanted to show it to the audience before I started to reveal it to him.

hyunleo:
if we both go together with leo hartman

supplement: you’ll lose the blues (and you might lose your heart with leo hartman
supplement: i stole you (and your heart with leo hartman

Leo, of course, is Hyun’s final, so I wanted to include some things to highlight their relationship. The main thread is the get-together that Hyun and Leo didn’t get in Hogwarts, and I guess it also serves a little to highlight the contrast between Hogwarts-era Hyun and Clash Hyun. Hogwarts-era Hyun would have never done something quite as dramatic as crash one of Rebellion’s concerts, but Clash Hyun knows the value of the spectacle and the grand gesture. But besides that, I wanted to show a couple of different facets of their relationship, and get a range of Hogwarts and Clash—something more fun and light, like in i stole you (and your heart) as opposed to the seriousness of the eden that goes on in Hogwarts, as well as tracing the development of Hyun and Leo’s re-getting together, which started with them running into each other at a music festival (counteraction rising), and led to if we both go together, and followed by the aftermath in you’ll lose the blues (and you might lose your heart). There’s really an ease and naturalness to Hyun and Leo’s relationship I wasn’t expecting when I first started writing Hyun with Leo, but I like it, and I like the way it’s developing.

the plastics:
it’s in the back building with serenity gong, leo hartman, and jeongmin yoon

owl: get in losers, we’re going shopping with serenity gong, leo hartman, and jeongmin yoon

Oh, the Plastics. I included this thread partially because it’s my group thread for the requirement, and partially because the majority of relationships Hyun has right now are single-person relationships. He hasn’t really had a ‘group’ of friends, so to speak, in this iteration of the site, until the Plastics. The dynamic is interesting, I think, because in this set of owl and thread, Hyun takes the position of leader, which he has never been before. If we compare it to Robin and Jae and Hyun, it’s like the hierarchy is turned on its head, so to speak. Where he was the youngest before, and blindly followed the other two, he takes the lead now, both in initiating an activity and directing them.

the ??? arc:
because no one has lived longer than a dead child with elsa storm

This will eventually be the jumpstart to one of the plots I’m planning—in the meantime, I’m trying to keep it secret, although I’ve told a couple of people in preplanning already, it’s kind of changed/is changing. I don’t want to give anything away yet, but I just thought you all should know that this is the beginning of things to come and realizations to be had. Elsa finds Hyun while he’s struggling with everything that’s happened lately, while he picks through things in his brain. On another note, this is a sort of…experiment, I guess? I started writing this when we were talking about Chinese philosophy in class, and some of that has bled through, I think. Hyun’s mind is definitely supposed to be messy in this one, and I tried to play around with that a little, keeping it both organized for the reader but chaotic in thought and mind.

What are your three biggest RPing tips for any member?

Write every day. This is perhaps a more general writing tip than an RP tip, but it’s applicable regardless, I think. I spent my middle and high school years literally writing something down every single day. Sometimes it was a thousand or two thousand words a day, but most of the time, it was mostly 300-500 words, most of which were posts. When I first got to college, I stopped writing for fun. I was overwhelmed with schoolwork and being in college and this deluge of sudden change, and I stopped writing. The less I wrote each day, the less confident I was in myself and my abilities. When I finally did come back to WURR, I looked at my old threads and was like, “Wow. How did I write like this? I can’t ever imagine how I wrote like this, I can’t write like this anymore.” But I wanted to, I wanted to write well again—so I started writing everyday again. Sometimes it was posts, sometimes it was profiles, sometimes it was fic, and sometimes, it didn’t have to do with WURR at all. But it all helped. The act of sitting down and putting pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, helped me re-find all the things I thought I had lost, and helped me learn how to express myself in words again. We say a lot on WURR, quality over quantity, and it’s true. If you focus on quality, your posts will indeed grow naturally in length, because you’ll find you have more to explore and write about. So write, write every day. It may be good and it may be bad, but trust me, it all helps.

Don’t be afraid to experiment. As I’m sure you guys can tell, I love metaphor. I love metaphor and symbolism and repetition, and even the occasional soundplay of alliteration. But I didn’t have these devices in my writing arsenal from the very start. I developed them by playing around with them in my writing, and sometimes it came out good, and sometimes, it fell short. But by trying a bunch of different things out, I grew a lot more comfortable with using them, and naturally started incorporating them as part of my writing. And this doesn’t have to be limited to literary devices. It can be as simple as word choice, or the structure of a post—whatever you’re doing, take a moment to try something new. If you don’t like it, you can always switch back! I guess the other side of this tip is to never stop pushing your boundaries. What can you do to make your point come across clearer? What can you do to provide a different perspective, to bring the reader and the character closer? How can you develop your personal style, while keeping in mind the character you’re writing for? These are the types of questions, I feel, that help you branch out as a writer.

Take your posts from your profile, and your profile from your posts. In going along with the previous tip, I also like to experiment with character tics and history in my posts. Sometimes, it might be fixating on particular activity, and connecting it to something in the character’s past. Other times, it might be a particular item, and the character’s attachment to it. Either way, I try to pick these things out and let them grow naturally—and then I incorporate these things into my profile. The other way around, I try to take events from a character’s history, and flesh them out—turn them into plots that can transfer over to threads and plots with other people. In posts, you start thinking about things that you don’t think about while writing a profile. In this sort of situation in a post, what kind of nervous person is your character? What kind of bored person are they? How do they deal with it? These are the kinds of reaction that really help to shape the construction and overall appearance of a character, both physically and in personality. By seeing them in action, you can smooth out the rough edges of where you had a vague approximation of what the character is like, and get concrete examples. And nothing exists in a vacuum. As you pull out tidbits from your character’s past and turn them into plots, they become consequences, and again, you get to see how your character acts and reacts, you get to see a character that doesn’t exist in merely a moment in time, but one that follows it, that ultimately changes and grows as a character, as well as a real person. Inevitably, these all mesh together—tics work their way into plots, plots become history which generate more results—and ultimately, you end up with someone real, as I like to say.

Why you feel that you should move up: So, in writing this app, I did actually go back and look at some of my old posts with Hyun when I applied for Intermediate, way back when. And I definitely think he’s changed—I’d be afraid if he didn’t. I definitely think—I know—I’ve changed. I hope I’m better. And both our priorities have shifted, so to speak. When I started writing Hyun, it was hard. I think I mentioned this as well, way back then, but it was so hard, because Hyun was so different than Tam, and in a way that I couldn’t define who he was, or where he had come from or been. Since I’ve begun to write him again, I’ve been able to answer more and more of those questions that had eluded me before. Hyun’s desires and faults are clear to me in a way they’ve never been before, and I still marvel sometimes at what he’s become. It is significantly different from the kid I started out with at the beginning, and the kid who I started with going through ranking. But I don’t think it’s bad, by any means at all. Hyun’s not an easy character to write, no, but he’s an interesting one. He’s hard to balance and hard to pick through, sometimes, but it’s worth it, in the end. I love every single thing I’ve done, am doing, and will do with him, and I think that shows, perhaps, how much we’ve both grown.

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A dr✧p in the ocean
 A change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together


we don't know how they got this job but at least they're fscking funny
EATONLEEYOON
COMMENTATORS

Steph · 18 · 7th · Dead · Single · 5 ft. 11 in.
Gryffindor Intermediate
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Mar 24 2015, 12:50 PM   Link Quote
Hullo Mimi! I'll be your first reviewer today. You know the drill. I'll just post the requirements for Advanced and we'll be on our way! It's been an age and a half since I wrote an Advanced review, so this will be an adventure.

QUOTE
Advanced

• At least 5 of your recent topics with at least 4 posts by your character in each. If you post additional topics to show development, they are not bound by the post requirement.

• A group thread with at least 2 characters aside from your own and at least 2 posts by your character. This thread should count towards your topic number requirement.

• The beginning, middle, or end of a plot arc that spans over multiple threads. These can be continuations of previous plot arcs presented in past applications.

• What we are looking for: Your grammar, spelling, and sentence structure should have minimal to no errors. Your posts should flow and be easy to read. A style all your own should have fully emerged and be apparent and consistent in a majority of your posts. Your character should have more depth in comparison to your intermediate application. We should see more of what is going on inside your character's mind (inner dialogue, reactions to environment, etc). We will also be looking at your special request to give you tips on how to improve further.


Everything seems to be in order. Are you ready? Here we go!

I really like this line:

QUOTE
Leo, the Ouija board of his body spelled out, the answer was Leo.


You write other great lines, but that was the first one that popped out at me, so I'm using it to springboard into talking about your style. I always feel like style is difficult for me to really comment on, because that is a thing that you develop naturally over time, and to a certain extent, it's something that doesn't differ across characters, at least not in huge significant ways. You clearly have a well-developed style. Your posts are all very distinctly yours, and I don't think I could mistake them for anyone else, which is really what I think of when I talk about having a writing style. Your writing is very consistent, which is a thing I tend to look for at this stage and beyond.

So, that all aside, I want to talk about the eden arc and the tiny!hun arc. Because I read what you intended with them and immediately felt like whatever I was going to say should apply to both. But, first and foremost: I really like the idea of re-examining Hyun's childhood, because I feel like--especially considering he's only seventeen--that is something that has a big impact on who he is now, and I would be very interested to see where you take this. I'd love to see both how the tiny!hyun arc affects him, and how he reacts to this kind of revelation, and generally how this changing perception of his childhood affects him in the long run.

Going back and reading your old posts for Hyun, it becomes really obvious to me how much your writing for him has changed. Your words seem to flow better, if that makes sense? And I feel like there is a better grasp of the details and just... I don't know, I feel like, reading your posts for Hyun now, I get a better grasp of him and how he interacts with people than I do from your earlier threads. So, kudos, definitely, on that score. As I said with the arcs you have going, I'm mostly interested to see how this continues. I know that you are capable of tossing Hyun into different situations, and I would just love to continue seeing more of how these things play out. This isn't very helpful advice. I'm sorry. It's hard to give advice when most of mine boils down to "keep doing more of this." I feel like mostly what you need to do at this point is continue developing as you're already doing. You're on the right path, and unless you start veering wildly, I don't think you should have too much trouble moving forward. Not that I think Hyun's ready for elite just yet, but I think you're on the right trajectory.

As for your RP tips, I really like the third one. It's the sort of thing that I often find myself telling people in reviews. You never know what you're going to unearth about your character when you just let things emerge organically--or what you'll find you need to cut out for the same reason, for that matter.

Oof. This is a really useless review, and I'm sorry. I do really think that you're ready for Advanced. You've got your own style, Hyun is really coming through in your posts, and I have a lot of confidence that you can follow through with everything that you've got going on for him at the moment. I like that you're showing us different sides of Hyun, and I would like to see how the changes he goes through affects those and his relationships. For now, I APPROVE you for ADVANCED and apologize profusely for how very lame this review was.

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Jinx is perfection.

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5/6/15
снʌяɩιε · 16 · 6th · · Cursed · 5'2"
Hufflepuff Intermediate
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Apr 1 2015, 08:35 PM   Link Quote
Hello Mimi! CHARLIE HERE as your second reviewer! I'm sorry it's taken so long for this review! Let's dive right in, since Steph has already given us an outline of what we need to get started.

POSTS
    I haven't had the pleasure of interacting with Hyun, but I have to say I love the way you write him. You have a few moments where you pick a powerful image and then you apply it to him, threading it in and out of your posts. It's an excellent practice that not only gives us insight into his personality and how he's feeling, but also what he's thinking. It gives a poetic completeness to what you write. You don't do it too often either, to the point where it would become trite or overdone. In particular, I absolutely love the comparison of Hyun and the rabbit. You don't tell us outright that he was like a rabbit; instead it's a thought that comes right out of his head and is thick with feeling and cultural implications. More than that, you keep Hyun moving through the scenes, and rarely get lost in metaphor. You drift between his thoughts and what he's actually doing seamlessly, and pick really powerful moments to sprinkle in more metaphor to enhance your posts. Your descriptive vocabulary does a lot to expand your sentences, giving us an incredible amount of detail without rendering the sentences rambling or over-stuffed with words. You have a lot of variations in your sentence structures too, which makes reading what you write particularly enjoyable. It builds a wonderful balance between action, environment, and Hyun's own perceptions.

    You have a strong voice when you write him, and it doesn't sound anything like the way you write your other characters. It's distinct and personal, and although I've only interacted with Tam in fun and silly situations, there is something quiet about the way you write Hyun, like I'm interrupting private moments when I'm reading these posts. The only real advice I can offer is to keep a strong hold of the balance you've crafted, and apply it to all your threads. In almost every post you're pretty careful not to let your metaphors and descriptors outweigh actions and the environment, but once or twice in the tiny!Hyun threads I got a little lost and had to reread. Though, more frequently than not, you have a very strong sense of balance in your posts and your threads which makes them just delightful. Seriously, if I quoted all of the imagery I find beautiful, this review would go on for ages, because you use such variation and creativity. It makes your posts so tangible and vivid, and I should really stop talking about this now! If you're really curious about specifics I'll happily PM you the quotes that I found particularly enhanced your posts.

PLOTS
    Since I can't talk about your posts forever, let's talk about your arcs! Stepping away from the obvious quality of your posts, I really love the subtleties of your arcs. I love the way Hyun interacts with Leo, and I particularly enjoy that you've brought something out of Hyun's past to make it an issue for the present. It is a very realistic portrayal of someone struggling to come to terms with emotions they had swallowed up and tried to forget. It makes sense to me that the romance with Leo and the overarching eden arc go hand in hand. As Hyun struggles, he relies on Leo, and their bond grows stronger. It feels like a natural and realistic transition, and adds a subtle complexity to the arc that I think many people can identify with. I'd be super curious to see a thread where Leo DOES actually meet Grace Lee. I'm not sure if that's something you have planned for the future. It sounds like a fun opportunity to bring the relationship into Hyun's home dynamic. I'm not sure if you have something along those lines planned for the future, but if you do KUDOS! I look forward to it x3

    I particularly like what you've done with the plastics, where Hyun suddenly finds himself this unassuming leader. I'd like to see where you take that in the future; if he continues to step forward as the eldest/leader of the group, or if he tries to push others into that role. There are a lot of opportunities for him to flesh out in a group like that and I'm hoping to see more group threads, even if it's not ALL of the plastics crammed into one thread (because I'd like to see those one-on-one relationships develop too). I can envision a few routes you could take with this -- where Hyun either grows and becomes more sure of himself, or crumples and sort of steps into the background depending on what unfolds. Of course, I'm sure you have a lot of your own ideas for Hyun's friendships as well. All in all, I really like this friend group and I really want to see what you do with it.

TIPS
    I have to echo Steph and say that I love your third tip, but I'm also really fond of the second one. It can be easy to get lost in attempts at experiments, and a lot of people kind of stick to what they know and the voice they've already defined, which makes it harder to grow and expand. I think your strong grasp of balance and metaphor and alliteration makes your posts on a whole really powerful. A lot of people could benefit from your advice on this matter, whether you're telling them to experiment or you're telling them ways they can stay grounded without getting lost in the voice they're trying to find.

VERDICT
    I thoroughly enjoyed all of your posts and the complexity of the relationships Hyun has developed. I can't wait to see more, and I know the voice with which you write him will only grow stronger as you keep writing. I want to see more of him! More funny situations, more angry situations, more encounters with people he hates and people he loves. You have a very dynamic character here and I look forward to seeing what you do and where he takes you. It's probably super obvious by now but...yes, I APPROVE you and Hyun for ADVANCED! I hope my review was helpful in some way, but you didn't leave me much room for advice!

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the oncoming storm | 05 CHARLIE COOPER
hufflepuff | loyalty, endurance, true victory

{ workshop plotter }
Cat · 16 · 6th · Neutral · Taken · 5'4"
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Apr 16 2015, 12:01 PM   Link Quote
    Hello Mimi! You know me, so let's get right into things! :3

    I'm not sure if there is a whole lot I can say here that doesn't echo what Steph and Charlie have said. You very clearly have a voice for Hyun, one that is thoughtful and 'quiet' as Charlie said, but has powerful imagery embedded in it, making it a wonderful joy to read. I think, outside of continuing to practice and fiddle with new ways to write as you've said you've started, I'm most looking forward to what comes from the ??? arc. In that thread in particular, I feel you did achieve your goal in showing Hyun's state of mind, but still making it easy for the readers to follow along and make sense of what you were trying to get across. My comments on the arcs you have going are basically the same as Steph and Charlies; I like how very realistic you're portraying Hyun and like that he has someone in Leo to lean on and find support in as he is delving back into his childhood and facing the reality of what it was actually like.

    Moving forward, I feel I can only ask that you continue on the track you're going in. I feel like you have plenty of people involved across your arcs, and as I said, I really look forward to your unveiling of the ??? arc, because I enjoyed reading that thread and seeing the bits of Chinese culture that seeped into your posts, as well as loved the way you portrayed his state of mind. I anticipate it to be a wild, fun ride, and can't wait to see its climax and end!

    On your tips, I enjoy number two the most! I definitely agree that experimenting with your writing will help in development of voice and the like. You never really know what your strengths are -- or could be -- until you give everything a go and see what feels right. In addition, tip one is also a good one. Practice, practice, practice -- even if it isn't posts you're writing, just writing helps to keep you honed in on the skill. I love how you included that what you wrote each day didn't necessarily always have to do with things relating to WURR. I think writing what comes to mind, or what you're aching to write, is very important because I feel like the best things come out from when you actually want to write something specific. There's less struggle to get the words, less resistance to just sit and let your fingers type away. ^-^ Excellent advice, both in the tips I've commented on and in the third as well.

    Without further ado, I approve you for ADVANCED. I'm sorry that this review hasn't been very helpful in the way of suggestions for improvement, but I feel you've shown us that you have a clear idea on where to go from here, and have more than proven that you have Hyun's voice down. Good luck in the rest of your arcs, profile revision, and in your future application.

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Mimi · 18 · 7th · neutral · ·
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Sep 5 2016, 11:45 PM   Link Quote
Rank Applying For: Elite
Link to character workshop topic (with original and revised posts): ici, s'il vous plaît
At least FIVE of your recent role play topics:

i. eden
eden, shangri-la, atlantis in the sea (paradise lost) | out of eden (into the east)

After literal years, I have completed the Eden arc, which is Hyun’s main character development/plot arc. As a refresher--as a child, Hyun’s best friends were Jaesun Kim and Robin Pak. Jae is magic and came to Hogwarts with Hyun. Robin was not magic, and was thus left behind. She moved away suddenly while Hyun was at school, and he became a little obsessed with finding her, only to discover, thanks to the help of Alandra Vielhaber, that she had passed away years ago. Then, while still processing that, Hyun discovered that Jae had known that Robin was dead all this time, and hadn’t told him--leading to a raging fistfight and a prolonged cold war between Hyun and Jae.

The two threads above (and the Christmas thread below, but I’ll talk about that later), conclude the Eden arc. Hyun and Jae reconcile, and visit Robin’s grave together. Content-wise, I don’t really have much to say there--it’s pretty self-explanatory. But what I want to talk about here is how Hyun’s relationship to Robin--and my understanding of Hyun’s relationship to Robin--have changed so much from the conception of this plot to now. Part of it is having Lily come in with Jae, since having a second player to work with of course changes the dynamics of everything, but also, just working through this arc itself has been so enlightening about Hyun’s personality and his complexities. I think Hyun is probably the most complex character I have. He doesn’t just have geological layers, he has folds, and they weird things up and make me have to dig into him so much more. His fears and his desires--this arc really highlights Hyun’s core fear of being alone and unseen, and his desire for things to not change, and addresses them. I have to say, out of everything I’ve done so far on WURR, I’m proudest of this arc.

ii. christmas
somewhere in eden, after all this time}} | chestnuts roasting on an open fire | (to see our glory)

Still smarting from everything that’s happened with Jae, Hyun invites Leo Hartman, Serenity Gong, and Jeongmin Yoon--the Plastics--to his house for Christmas, hoping that having them over will fix the feeling of wrongness in his heart. It doesn’t quite get there, but Hyun sure does try.

First of all, as you may notice, that first thread is an Eden thread! I put it in this set of threads since it better sets the scene for Christmas proper, but you can also read it in conjunction with the rest of the Eden arc as sort of an in-between between Hyun and Jae’s fight (see previous app) and the conclusion to the Christmas arc as I included it here. But Christmas itself is something Hyun has done to sort of try and resolve his feelings after the Eden fight. Hyun’s got a thing for belonging, and with the Plastics, he definitely knows where he belongs. I also like this arc because again, it puts Hyun in a sort of leadership position in contrast to his youngest status within Robinjaehyun, and l thought it was really interesting to work through that internal conflict of role. Christmas itself is unfinished, but I do think we got far enough to show that it was a disaster, and that however Hyun tries to make things okay, sometimes that's not enough.

This is also a little of a mishmash arc—again, the first thread pulls from Eden, but the last thread is Hyunleo. I think Maison and I have been trying to figure out where to go with Hyunleo, and we ended up taking it somewhere softer—but again, I'll talk about that below.

iii. eurydice
a god can do it (how do you expect a man?) | the slow descent [[owl]] | soft, they let you in (you were like an emblem)

Hyun brews Leo a sleeping potion, but unbeknownst to him, his simple sleeping potion was contaminated, and Hyun has to descend into Leo’s dreams to retrieve him.

So the inspiration for this arc came directly from the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. I knew I wanted to showcase something a little more...artistic in nature, and dreams were a good way to get there. I think I started out intending for this arc to be sharp and edgy and a little uncomfortable in its avant gardeness, but I think along the way it became soft and dreamy (no pun intended) instead. I loved working with Maison on this thread because we started to build off of each other, and even though the nature of this plot itself meant that Hyun and Leo aren't in the same place interacting, we could still have a conversation and create something cohesive together, as roleplay is meant to do. This arc was also a chance for me to explore both Hyun’s love and proclivity for Potions, and therefore his relationship with Professor Jaeseok Kim, which I don't think is a subject or relationship I explore enough. Either way, this arc was definitely dedicated a little more to form than fiction, but I do think it was a worthy angle to explore.

iv. cupid
i told the witch doctor i was in love with you | the idiot’s guide to dating - by an idiot

In contrast to the three arcs above, the Cupid threads are a more playful look at Hyun and his shenanigans—specifically, love advice shenanigans. Remember, they asked for it. (They really didn't. No one asked for this.)

So, I had a secret plot at Advanced, but it fell through, as does happen sometimes, although through no fault of anyone around me, and so I started thinking about plots I could do to replace it. So I just got to thinking, everything I'm doing with Hyun right now is so serious, but he really wasn't intended to be so all the time. Hyun actually has a lot of ridiculous comedic potential, and where does comedic potential really become wild? In love, of course. So this isn't really as much an arc as it is Hyun giving the same dubious advice to the unsuspecting denizens of Hogwarts, unsolicited, and I think it shows a different side of Hyun. I like these threads because they're so versatile—this is of course by no means not the end of matchmaking, love guru Hyun, and there are so many ways this could go in the future—will Hyun ever learn? Will his advice ever work? Maybe he'll start a side business! There are just so many stand-alone but also long-term arc and thread potentials!

Would you like to join the Review Team, if you have not already? Why?: I am on the Review Team and I am deeply entrenched in it all.

Commentary:

You know, I always think about what I’m going to say here, and then when I get to doing it, nothing I write sounds as good as it sounds in my head.

I put Tam up for Elite maybe five years ago, and it was really one of the craziest things I felt like I’d done up until this point. Looking back now, I reread that app and was like, “Man, what was I doing?” People don't stop changing. I'm not the same writer I was five years ago, and I won't be the same writer I am now in five years. What I do have more of now, though, is perspective and experience—I used to think that Elite was The End, that once you hit Elite, there was nothing more to do with a character. But Tam's changed so much since I reached Elite with him. Heck, Hyun’s changed so much from Beginner to now!

I think a lot of that change can be seen in his profile. As you may see, I got halfway through a profile revision for Hyun before abandoning it and writing a freeform profile—for a while, I just couldn't get into writing freeforms, but then I hit a wall with Hyun, and just couldn't seem to finish his profile in a way that was satisfying. So I took away the structure, and let Hyun come out the way he wanted to—in vignettes, like his favorite photographs. I wanted to fill in some of the spots between threads in addition to revealing Hyun's background and personality, and this really felt like the natural way to do it. It feels right and true to Hyun's character, and clicks in a way that hadn't clicked for me before, and I think that, in itself, says a lot about him.

Hyun, like me, is always going to be incomplete. A lot of the threads I've included in this app are older and incomplete threads, which is unavoidable. But I think what's important beyond that is how Hyun’s development can be traced in these threads, incomplete or not. I thought about waiting some more before I applied for Elite, and I thought about getting some fresh threads going—but Hyun's development over the arcs I've presented is so big, I think, that it would do all of us a discredit for me not to use them as I'd originally planned. So here he is, and here I am.

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A dr✧p in the ocean
 A change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together


we don't know how they got this job but at least they're fscking funny
EATONLEEYOON
COMMENTATORS

Lily · 13 · 3rd · GUILD · ·
Ravenclaw Elite.
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351
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Awards: 25

Sep 11 2016, 10:18 PM   Link Quote
Heya Mimi, it's me, Lily, here to start you off today with this last leg of your ranking journey! Even though you have no excuse not to know the requirements for Elite by now, let's just pull them up:

QUOTE (what we’re looking for at elite)
  • At least 25 posts by your character over 5 threads.
  • A final profile revision in the character workshop which includes plot arcs and character development over your time on-site.
  • A group thread with at least 2 posts by your character. This thread will count towards the total 25 posts and 5 threads needed.
  • Engaging plot arcs with multiple people. Your plot arcs should reach a climax at this stage, although they do not need to, and should not, be the very end of all development for your character.
  • At Elite, we are looking for the full package, full stop. Not only should the character shine as a recognizable name on-site, but the player behind them should be an exemplary member of the board as well. You should be able to not only plot and write with a variety of different people, but also bring out the best in them as well. Your character should feel well rounded and have depth (inwards and outwards). We should be able to predict -- or be delightfully surprised at -- how they might react to a variety of situations from reading your posts.
  • Technical aspects of writing such as grammar, spelling, and structure should be near flawless. Deviations from standards should be clearly intentional--ie. part of one’s style or to make a point. Your style and character voice should be polished, consistent, and undeniably you.

So let me just start off by acknowledging the fact that I've had about 800 conversations with you about Hyun and Elite and Eden and everything, which may or may not cheapen what I have to say here. But that's for you to decide! Regardless, I'm going to give you some feedback and see how Hyun has grown.

I remember, like, a decade ago when you first created Hyun. He was stilted and awkward and touched too many things (not in the emotional way, the awkward physical way) and I remember reading your Hyun posts and kind of going "... okay... what.........??????" .... Even back then, though, I think you always had a sense of what Hyun is, at his core. And that's I think... someone who has a very strong idea of what's supposed to be, in his view of the world -- so of course when you started shaking it up, it brought in conflict.

Man. I remember, also, when I first created Jae. I also had no idea what to do with him because ? conflict?! what's that?!!! but one of the coolest things I've done with him is, of course, pushing him through Eden with you. So from an OOC standpoint it was really nice being able to hash things out with you, and slide pieces around, and figure out Robin together, and everything that interlocked to form their childhood... that was just really cool, and I enjoyed it a lot because it made me, at the same time, learn so much about Jae. I think you manage to do this with most (if not all?) of the people you plot with, and that I think speaks for itself in how much you have a handle on Hyun and how it helps other people gain perspective on their own characters.

And from an IC point of view, well. Let's revisit Beginner Hyun, the awkward, "I see a thing so I'm gonna put my hands all over it" child. That was before Hyun learned all the things he did about Robin. And look at him now! He has a place. He has a sense of where he is, and where he needs to be -- but beyond that, it always makes so much sense how he comes to these conclusions, which just shows how well you've gotten to know him (no more "what....?????" from me) and how well you can pull things out of his past, or his surroundings, and weave them together and help us picture everything about this kid. The character development is so good, you know?! I like that you can pull Hyun together across all his arcs and show how all of them influence each other, but not necessarily through explicitly connecting (say, chronologically) each different one... I think that's a skill that's rare and hard to show off, but you're really good at it and it works so well for someone like Hyun. Like, I can see how everything is settling for him, and how he speaks from all that which is deep inside etc etc. I've always been asking you about development, and more development, and "where are you taking him????" and I think now, with this app, I'm both satisfied and proud of what you've done to answer these questions.

Let's talk writing for a second. This will be short because I and the rest of WR adore your writing to literal figurative death. Um. I adore it. The end! Just kidding. I've always been a sucker for your metaphors and allusions because it never feels like you're looking for an opportunity to use one... they just come out really naturally! And (for anyone else who's reading this) I feel like that's such an important thing to come to terms with re: writing... that you can't just shove references everywhere for the sake of having them. So that's one thing I hope whoever reads your work will take away from it. I've seen your writing grow from when you were . .. . . .... fifteen, and it's been ... like, almost nine years, so I think just the amount of improvement I can visibly see is phenomenal really!! There's really nothing for me to say here... the only things I can really think of is just that occasionally there are still typos or missing words, or places where you (unintentionally) repeat something too many times or a turn of phrase that is a little ?????, so just keep taking your time with posting and making sure you really read it over ^^ It doesn't happen often enough to be distracting, but when I read your stuff closely I do catch them.

I think I have to comment a little on your handling of threads -- the technicalities, if you will -- in general. I love the structural design of Eurydice (of course) because it was so cool to see where you took stuff from Leo and how you handled it with Hyun, even though they're apart. And I do the same thing with taking certain aspects of my RP partner's posts and using it to turn something around, but I think you can... pull it outwards a little? Of course that doesn't really apply with Eurydice, but, say, in Eden, there were a few times where I drop some hints or note a (physical) change and there was like... no reaction, which I understand is part of Hyun's character, but all the same I think could have been taken into account? I.e. in our last thread when Jae was kneeling but then he stood up and you kind of had Hyun just leaning on him throughout all of it... wild. So I guess something you can keep working towards -- not just with Hyun, but also with your other characters -- is more physical awareness. You have so much good atmosphere stuff going on that there are times when I think a little more of the concrete can balance it out. Other than that, I think I trust you to keep doing all that you have been doing, and helping others grow as well.

Okay, profile! AHH. You've seen my comments about Hyun's profile already, and I just wanted to gush a little because I love how it comes together SO MUCH. It's like you took everything you did with Hyun and put it into a profile scale it's just so goooood. I really don't have much to add beyond what you already know! The only thing I can really think of is that in the profile itself there is less of a marked growth than in your however many years of threading -- I think Hyun's starting place (development-wise) can be a little more apparent, if you ever want to take the time to add it, but it's not a major thing. This is such a good piece of writing... IDK it's so complete but it isn't repetitive or wordy; it's the kind of thing I think should be reread a few times and that's such a you thing. It's great. You're great! I think I've said pretty much nothing of value whatsoever here, but at least now you know you're great!

And with that, I approve Hyun for Elite! Please don't stop writing Hyun -- keep pushing him, and keep pushing yourself with him -- and good luck with your next two reviews!

@Hyun Lee

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✕    POUR ME A HEAVY DOSE OF ATMOSPHERE
Bolt · 17 · 6th · · Halfblood · 6'2"
Hufflepuff Advanced
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Sep 23 2016, 01:31 PM   Link Quote
Hi Mimi.

I'm flying over the Pacific Ocean right now, still an hour away from the International dateline. A large ginger man is hulked to my left, starting to snore while more large ginger men clash swords on his screen. A stranger is on my right, stretching and relaxing repeatedly while another movie plays.

I've been hoping that neither of them will notice the tears I've shed over Robin.

This is a rather unorthodox (and cramped) attempt at a review for me, so I hope you'll forgive any nonsense. Here's the substance--

I think Eden could quite possibly be the greatest arc to grace the site. You (and Lily!) should be extremely proud because it's a powerful read.

I won't place quotes here because I'm struggling between a tablet, a notepad, a tray table that is too small, and I can't pull rabbits out of hats. Just imagine I quoted the whole thing.

I was also a particular fan of the dream sequence that Mayo and you were able to craft together for Eurydice. I could feel it all unfolding like vivid technicolour that made the back of my head prickle.

Hyun himself has clearly evolved and grown in every direction. He's quite a character, and across the different plots and threads you provided here (and a few others I just read) he never comes across as inconsistent. He's a strange puzzle, but he's very real.

Lastly, profile. I looked closely at the unfinished traditional revision as well as your final product. The last paragraph of the abandoned one made my chest ache, but I far and away agree that tearing away the shackles and letting Hyun come out as he wanted was the best way to go. So many of those snapshots were just perfectly placed and worded -- Kimchi fried rice.

I don't know if you intend to make any further additions or revisions in future, but in the interests of making my ramblings even remotely useful my one bit of feedback of any consequence is that I would like to see more of Hyun's photographs. You give us the first Hyun takes, and provide the context that highlights how important the camera is, so I'd just like to see a little more of that drawn in.

It's now been Friday for far longer than it has any right to be, and I've rambled on over multiple lined pages in handwriting that I'm rather ashamed of. You and Hyun should quite clearly have my approval for Elite rank. And that's that.

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Here Duke! G'boy!

Workshop / Extra Info
снʌяɩιε · 16 · 6th · · Cursed · 5'2"
Hufflepuff Intermediate
Offline
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2024
Awards:
Awards: 86

Sep 27 2016, 03:31 AM   Link Quote
HELLO MIMI. Charlie here with your third and final review. Hyun was my first ever advanced review, so it's both fun and intimidating af to come back and look at him for Elite. You're already checked off on requirements, so let's jump in!

I'm going to start with the workshop because that's what I read first, and all I can say is wow! It's a truly incredible profile. Last time I mentioned the quietness with which you write Hyun, and that same feel has carried into these little vignettes. They are truly incredible, each one maintaining the rise and fall, perpetuating the rhythm of the profile. Maybe it's because they're so similar to your posts, but the little windows into Hyun have the same poetic beats that I've noticed in your threads, and just hnngg. You don't stumble at all in the switch to present tense for the profile, and it seems like you have put a lot of thought and care into every scene. None of them seem frivolous, none of them are too packed; they're just the right length. I am left with a distinct feeling of Hyun by the end, and just ugh I really love this profile. The snapshots are just beautiful, and overall I think this is a profile you should really be proud of.

SPEAKING OF PRIDE. I'm going to echo Bolt and say that this eden plot is one of the best on the site. The rise and fall of the arc is incredible. I wish I could say more but it just feels like the right conclusion for the arc. After all of the bitterness is released, it reads as a natural resolution for Hyun and Jae and the two of them at Robin's grave (ughh the three of them together again, my heart) is a really powerful moment. He doesn't need some huge epiphany, the moment is what breaks the tension between them in ways that their fights never did and I think it was a very good use of the setting. I really get a sense of how deeply they're connected in both threads, and the continuation of your rabbit metaphor just makes my soul want to cry happy tears. Similarly, I want to cry happy tears over the Christmas threads!

You gave me exactly what I asked for last time! I wanted to see Leo in the Lee home! The execution is wonderful, your control over the NPCs is 10/10, and I really enjoy the little details about Hyun's parents, like how covetously Grace eyes Leo's cheekbones. Their addition makes for some really fun and subtle comedy within what is otherwise a fairly serious thread. Because bringing his friends into his space is a big move for Hyun and it comes across really well. I think it's super great that you brought the rest of the plastics in too, and just the short and sweet nature of chestnuts is great. Everyone in that thread did a really great job with the tempo and the timing.

Turning the spotlight on eurydice, I really like the theme you have going for Hyun and how he relates to Leo. Hyun's feelings toward Leo translate into actions and behavior really well. I also think you and Maison did a fantastic job in the coma thread, particularly because they are apart. They're in very different places mentally/emotionally, and that really comes across in their relationship as a whole. In fact, reading through all of those threads one after another, they never really seem to be on the same page. Leo is detached, whereas Hyun is always searching for Leo. He eventually finds him in both threads, but I'm curious to see how that evolves in the future. There is an imbalance in their relationship and I'm not sure if that's what you were going for but it's definitely what I'm picking up on. Leo affects Hyun in profound ways and it feels like you guys used the dream sequence to communicate that (when Leo's world shifted, Hyun's shifted too even though they were apart) and even though it is Leo's dream so of course he's in control, it feels like a metaphor for their relationship, where the things that affect Leo affect Hyun greatly, but that doesn't seem to be the case for Leo. Hyun doesn't have that power. Leo is lost in himself and Hyun can't change his world; he can only make it a little more bearable, and then it becomes a question of whether or not 'a little bearable' is good enough, or a question of what might it take for Hyun to become the world-changer for Leo that Leo is for him. At the moment, it almost reads like a relationship with one-sided love despite their mutual feelings for each other. Again I could be totally off-base, but you mentioned that you and Maison and how you were thinking about where to take hyunxleo, so I thought I'd volunteer some of my thoughts as a reader. On the whole though I think the coma thread is one you and Maison should be really proud of; it's a wonderfully executed thread with great imagery and brilliant pacing. Additionally, I really liked learning about your inspiration and intentions with the thread, because it's not a connection I would have made but now that you've pointed it I can definitely see where the inspiration came from and how it evolved.

Breaking away from your serious arcs, I really enjoyed a look back at the silly Hyun. "Strippers deserve more compliments because they take off their clothes." I died. I love that dramas inspire all of his wisdom on the subject of love. He speaks with so much authority, and the execution of just how bad he is at romantic advice is so wonderfully juxtaposed it makes me happy. The choices of Lenny and Bill as recipients of his advice are also delightfully wonderful, because they're just uninformed and ignorant enough about romance to believe him. I really, really want to see more of these because they're a super fun read.

There are always going to be ways to improve, and it seems like you get this. You're not the same writer you were five years ago and Hyun isn't the same person he was when you made him, and it feels like you have a lot of self-awareness when it comes to how you can continue to grow as a writer. You're always going to be changing and Hyun is always going to be changing -- he even feels a little different from the last rank up. All in all I think you've gone on a wonderful journey with Hyun. From your threads to your profile, it feels like you really get him. I could gush on about your execution of eden and the strong conclusion, just like I could probably talk about your metaphors for hours. All I can say is that I look forward to seeing how you and Hyun continue to evolve and that I APPROVE you and Hyun Lee for ELITE. NOW LET'S CRACK OPEN THE VODKA CHAMPAGNE!

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the oncoming storm | 05 CHARLIE COOPER
hufflepuff | loyalty, endurance, true victory

{ workshop plotter }
снʌяɩιε · 16 · 6th · · Cursed · 5'2"
Hufflepuff Intermediate
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2024
Awards:
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Sep 27 2016, 08:23 AM   Link Quote
Congratulations on all of your hard work! Your topic is now being moved to the Elite Showcase!

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user posted image
the oncoming storm | 05 CHARLIE COOPER
hufflepuff | loyalty, endurance, true victory

{ workshop plotter }
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