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 The QQ, Vol III, Issue II
Caesar · · old · fabulous · ·
Awards: 1

Jun 28 2017, 10:52 AM   Link Quote
  • T. Koenig| Editor-in-Chief
    Letters from the Editor

    I cannot believe it, dear readers. I cannot believe another Quidditch season has come and gone so quickly. It seems like just yesterday that announcements were posted, asking for team signups, and boy, did the Quidditch playing public of Hogwarts deliver. Three teams, filled to the brim with talent and entertainment to spare. We watched two intense games get played, and before we knew it, the Notorious Nundu emerged victorious as undefeated champions of Spring Quidditch.

    I think it's important to note here, especially after the season we had, that Quidditch means different things to different people. Some of us have known about it since we were babies, and grew up watching it with our parents and loved ones, to the point that they end up writing about it for their school paper. Some of us have favorite professional teams that mean the world to us (go Heidelberg Harriers!) and we're more than happy to fight someone who dares to insult our team. We wear their colors, wave their banners, and put posters of the player up on our walls. We beg for tickets to games to see our favorites play and we're proud to say we support them, regardless of their record, and that's great.

    For others, they just learned about Quidditch when they got to Hogwarts, having grown up with muggle sports like football and rugby, and found a passion for it after the fact. Some of them have become Arrows, or Wasps, or Falcons fans this very year, with passion equal to that of those who were dressed in Ballycastle black and scarlet from birth and that's fantastic.

    Some of the players you see on the pitch, season after season, have been playing Quidditch since they could hold themselves steady on a broom, signing up for junior leagues, and playing long before they ever got to Hogwarts. Some of them wake up at ungodly hours of the morning just to train, dedicating their entire lives to this pursuit. A lot of them have aspirations to play professionally, to love the game so much that they've chosen to spend the rest of their life to it, and that's amazing.

    Some players you see on the pitch just find the game fun. They enjoy chasing the quaffle, they enjoy seeking the snitch, they enjoy beating the bludgers. They live for the love and camaraderie of a team, but dread the idea of practicing until their muscles ache and quiver from overuse. Some of them like to pass the time playing, but have other aspirations beyond Quidditch. They want to be aurors, or healers, or cursebreakers, or magizoologists, and as much fun as they have playing the game, in the end, to them, it's just a game, and that's wonderful.

    There are some people who absolutely no interest or passion in Quidditch. They attend the games with friends, but don't care about the outcome. They cheer on their friends, but have no real investment in the game. And then there are some people who just can't stand Quidditch at all, choosing to stay in the castle on gameday, avoiding the whole thing altogether. And that's absolutely marvelous.

    The fact is, everyone in the wizarding world enjoys - or doesn't enjoy - Quidditch in different ways. There's no right or wrong way to be a fan, or a player, and there's no real answer for how quidditch is supposed to fit into your life. At the end of the day, we're all just wixes trying to love or avoid this crazy game. Let's try to remember that and be kind to everyone, no matter how their level of passion relates to yours. Have a good off-season, dear readers, and we'll see you next season.


    Theodora Koenig here. I'm the editor and a columnist for the Quidditch Quarterly. Though I don't play quidditch myself, my dear cousin Ralph Zuniga has been playing most of his life and has forced me into loving it much like he does. The outcome it that I can now rattle off more Pro Quidditch stats than almost anyone who actually plays and I've developed a deep interest in the mechanics of it. I hope you guys get some good out of what I write for you, and I hope you enjoy it!

    Gather ‘round boys and girls, because this Quidditch seasons isn’t just about the game, or the players – it’s about YOU! I’m Mats, and you may have seen me running around the spectators’ stands during the game. Haha, who am I kidding, of course you saw me. There was a bright pink heart following me around. Anyway, Quidditch brings us all together, and that’s what I’m here for.

    How's it going, y'all? I'm Beauregard Fontaine, or Beau for those of you that don't know me, and I'm a columnist and interviewer with the Quidditch Quarterly! Whether it's the scoop on who's bludgering who or getting down to the nitty-gritty of whose getting cut from the team, I'll be your correspondent in action! Although I gotta admit, I can be a bit scatterbrained... Y'all come on back and read with us for a little while, ya hear?

    Hello, this is Erik and it's the second time I ended up in this enormously shi- special newspaper for all the Quidditch-obsessed people out there. People, get a life and stop watching people chasing after balls! However, I am in charge of doing interviewers again and we all know that you are all dying to talk to me, so see you – maybe.

  • E. Dwight|| Columnist
    Game Recap: Notorious Nundus vs. Kinetic Kitsunes

    Rumour has it there has been one last Quidditch game of the season when the winners of the first game, the Notorious Nundus met the newcomer, the Kinetic Kitsunes. Whether there was a game or not will be revealed in the following, yet the weather was most definitely in favour of Quidditch, as the sun was shining and the temperatures were bearable - if you like sweating, that is.

    Either way, once the whistle had been blown, Kitsune Captain Sato gets his claws on the quaffle, followed by an immediate wrestle attempt by McLoughlin. Although her first attempt has failed, the fierce - and pretty - Ravenclaw lady tried once more, only to be faced with another failure. Sato - apparently scared of girls or proximity, we just don’t know - started screaming dramatically, making the spectators ponder whether banshees are at work or not. McLoughlin has literally no chill and attempts wrestling again, but Sato couldn’t be stopped and made his way straight towards the goal hoops. While the quaffle flew in slow-motion towards the hoops, van der Decken decided to hit a bludger at the Kitsune seeker Sanada. Sanada dodged, meanwhile Kingsley saved the attack on the Nundu hoops - 0:0 so far!

    Kingsley tossed the quaffle to Wright who was immediately joined by Sato, although with less screaming than before. His wrestling attempt failed, as well as Haag’s that followed right afterwards. Unbothered by the Kitsune boys, Wright shot at the goal - while Quigley, the Nundu seeker was doing rather odd things that mainly seemed to include talking to everyone else instead of looking for the snitch. Isley, former Pixie ebater, rushed to try and save the quaffle, yet it went through: 30:0 for the Notorious Nundus!

    Isley passed to Haag, Klaus failed to wrestle and the way towards the hoops was free for Haag. Wright was benched and Grey joined the team instead, keeping the girl power within the game upright. Once more, Kingsley saved the quaffle and the score remained the same. Isley got swapped in as a beater while Masamune took up the keeper position, causing a small timeout before the game continued. Meanwhile spectators found entertainment in Miss De Clercq’s kisscam - the results can be seen in the beautiful issue of the Quidditch Quarterly you are currently holding in your hands.

    While her hopes and dreams of wrestling never came true, McLoughlin received the quaffle from Kingsley, followed by another wrestle attempt á la Haag. Klaus attempted to disrupt the wrestling by throwing himself in between McLoughlin and Haag - with success. These veela genes cannot be stopped. McLoughlin held onto the quaffle and Masamune’s - the chaser, not the keeper, as there are two of them - wrestling attempt failed as well. Dowling was apparently tired of all this and decided to send a bludger at McLoughlin while Isley attempted to bludger Klaus in the same moment - that is what you call teamwork! Van der Decken’s deflection failed, yet McLoughlin dodged and shot at the goal instead. Masamune couldn’t stop her, 60:0 for the Nundus!

    True sibling love is clearly playing Quidditch together, as Masamune passed the quaffle to his sister, the smaller Masamune. Grey attacked and attempted to get her hands on the quaffle, and both Haag’s disruption and Masamune’s keeping attempts failed - Grey succeeded in wrestling! Masamune was not pleased about these developments and tried to wrestle the quaffle back, with an disruption from McLoughlin. Meanwhile Lothian still had hopes and dreams of saving Klaus’ butt - unfortunately as unsuccessful as the Nundu captain’s dodging. Klaus was hit and Grey lost the quaffle, as if the odds were no longer in the Nundus’ favours.

    But nothing could stop Grey as she tried to take the red ball back, but Masamune held onto it only to confuse Quidditch with that other game muggles play, do not expect me to know how it’s called. Anyway, she kicked the quaffle at the hoops. Kingsley kept up his good track and saved the quaffle - still 60:0 in favour for the Nundus. McLoughlin took over, once more making her way over the pitch to score some more. Masamune’s and Sato’s wrestling attempts both failed and McLoughlin took a good shot at the hoops. Masamune saved, the score stayed unchanged.

    Sato - who had the quaffle - fell victim to Quigley’s blatching attempt that admittedly looked like the poor boy was going to break himself more than he would break anyone else. It is a well-known fact that the referees are blind, and Quigley got away with it. Kingsley saved another shot at the goal, nothing was there to see. Klaus showed off his first quaffle possession of the game while most players seemed to be mentally on a Bahamas holiday - I can assure you that the temperatures were rather fitting! Sato’s wrestling failed, as well as Masamune’s. Haag failed as well, leaving Klaus to take a shot at the hoops. Masamune saved, the score remained the same.

    Haag had the quaffle - and he also had a bludger with his name tag on it thanks to van der Decken. Isley attempted to deflect towards Quigley as it seemed but failed, Haag dodged successfully. Klaus went for the wrestle, poorly disrupted by Masamune and getting a hold on the quaffle. Masamune and Haag wrestled while Quigley and Sanada seemed to have taken a glimpse at the snitch. Haag succeeded in wrestling yet dropped the quaffle, Sato caught it and made sure it remained in the Kitsune hands. Truman got swapped in for Haag while Sato took a shot at the goal. Kingsley missed, 60:30.

    While chasing the snitch, Quigley crashed into Sato and fell off his broom - dramatically saved by Kiana The Waves Bow for Her van der Decken - you cannot say no to these arms! Truman held onto the quaffle and shot, and Isley did not think that falling off his broom was enough of punishment for Quigley, sending a bludger his way. Again it was van der Decken who tried to save the fragile seeker, this time with little success. Quigley was hit, and still he somehow caught the snitch.

    The Notorious Nundus won 210:30 against the Kinetic Kitsune.

  • B. Fontaine | Interviewer
    Captains Interview - Kinetic Kitsune - Kiichigo Sato & Takeru Sanada
    QQ: Hello, Beauregard Fontaine here, and today I’ll be your interviewer! First off, let’s start with your names, as well as a brief rundown of the positions you play for the Kitsune.
    KS: Hey Beau! Well, I’m Kiichigo Sato, and I play Captain! Oh, and chaser. I’m a chaser too! TS: Erm, I play whatever the team needs, but my position of preference is chaser, too.

    QQ: Now, I’m sure you’ll agree with me that your team played quite a game, but do either of you have any regrets?
    KS: Regrets about what? We were the best team on the field and had some bad luck, you can’t regret being the best!! TS: No. I guess I was worried at first but I realized everyone mostly just wanted to have fun so that was a relief.

    QQ: It was a hotly contested game from start to stop, but it really seemed like neither team was playing at their best. What do you think is the reasoning for that?
    KS: I’ve got to be honest, Beau, I’m lost. Why do you think we weren’t playing at out best? We were absolutely DESTROYING them! Did you see the way my team was just snatching quabbles TS: Quaffles. KS: Quaffles left and right? And the Budgies! TS: Bludgers. KS: Bludgers were smashing everyone! And even Take is the best seeker in all of Hogwarts, that snitch just like the other guy better! That’s not our fault! TS: -laughs- Thanks, Kichi. Yeah, just because they were enjoying themselves doesn’t mean no one was trying their hardest. -shrugs- QQ: Kiichigo, I saw you were quite the comedic act out there. Tell me, was that intentional?
    KS: What? I wasn’t funny at all! I was strong and brave and a great leader! Are you sure you’re actually from the paper? Did you watch the game?

    QQ: Takeru, I have about the same question for you. Or, well, not really. What was it like seeing your co-captain fumbling the quaffle?
    TS: Uh…. Kichi scored so that was good. Especially considering it was his first game and he still doesn’t even know what the names of the balls are. But in general, I’m pretty used to that kind of thing. We’ve been friends for awhile now.

    QQ: I know that I’m being intrusive, but can you tell me more about the team chemistry? The Kitsune players seemed to be having fun, but was it always that fun at practice?
    KS: What practice? OH! Right, yeah, when we did the pretend game stuff. Yeah, practice was great. Take’s like a brother too me, and so’s Yuzu, and Zuka’s basically my little sister. And I mean, the other guys, Hadleigh and TJ and D and Tristan, they’re all really great, so it was great! TS: Yeah, a few of us go awhile back, but Kichi sort of clicks with everyone he wants to, really.

    What were your most memorable moments in the game?
    KS: That little blonde chaser for the other team. Oowee, she’s pretty. TS: Probably not catching the snitch.

    Most forgettable?
    KS: If it’s forgettable how can I remember it? TS: Er, for once, I think Kichi said something that was logical.

    QQ: Last question here, but what can we expect from the Kitsune in the future? Is this the last trek for the fox?
    KS: Never! We’re only gonna get better, and next time, we’re going to make sure we get a snitch that likes Takeru! TS: What? You’re going to try again? Also can’t I just play chaser next time?

    QQ: Thank you again for all your time! Congratulations on a game well-played!
    KS: Hey thanks man! TS: Thank you as well.

  • L. Hong| Interviewer
    Spectators Interview: Madeline Poe

    Lien Hong: The latest Quidditch game has been quite an interesting show for the spectators on the stand. Here I am with one of them now, Madeline Poe. Ms. Poe, which team are you supporting and why?

    Madeline Poe: I did not come here for the game in the first place, but more for the atmosphere. It was unfortunately really sunny, that was disappointing. Either way, I am always in favour for the winning team!

    Lien: That’s understandable. There are many in the stands, including myself, who are not necessarily fans Quidditch, but come anyway to have some fun and support the teams. Speaking of, which team do you think is most likely to win and why?

    Madeline: Both teams seemed rather enthusiastic, but from what I have seen, the Kitsunes tried harder to win, while the odds were in the Nundus’ favour!

    Lien: An astute observation. How do you feel this game compares to the last one?

    Madeline: It seemed a lot less exciting and slower, I had to admit I got very distracted at times - even the players appeared bored. I blame the sun for it, it is indeed tiring.

    Lien: It’s been quite the change from the rain of the last game, yes, and seemingly not quite for the better. What has been the most memorable part of this game so far?

    Madeline: When Kiana saved Felton from falling! Who does not enjoy seeing some girl power during the games? It was truly dramatic and beautiful.

    Lien: Definitely. Kiana truly did a wonderful job in this game! Now, lastly, what is your favorite thing about being a spectator for Quidditch games?

    Madeline: Spending time with the people I like and enjoying the stadium atmosphere! Also the kisscam, I only knew it from the Superbowl, and I am so glad it found a way into the magical world as well!

  • L. Hong| Interviewer
    Spectators Interview - Martín Marzán

    Lien Hong: Today’s match seems to have brought everyone out into the stands, including Martín Marzán, player from the Pickled Pixies. Mr. Marzán, which team are you supporting and why?

    Martín Marzán: Lien, you look lovely today. Who doesn’t love a good game of Quidditch? Though it’s kind of weird to be sitting at the stands. But you know what they say...always support your family, and I couldn’t miss it when my cousin is out there being so great. Well, not as great as me, but you know what I mean. I’m all about those Kitsunes today.

    Lien:Indeed, blood runs thicker than water, as they say. With that in mind, which team do you think is most likely to win, and why?

    Martín: I have money on the Kitsunes so they better win, though I have to say the Nundus have been playing well. I feel like we’re really missing some action in this pitch, maybe some kissing, don’t you agree?

    Lien:I think we have enough of that from the Kiss Cam, so a bit more professionalism from our players on the pitch is quite welcome. How do you feel this game compares to the last one?

    Martín: The weather is an improvement! Let me tell you, there’s nothing worse than playing Quidditch under the rain when covered in glitter. I know I looked fabulous but, seriously, it was terrible. Anyways, enough about myself. How are you enjoying this weather, mi querida Lien?

    Lien:I would not know, but I imagine it was quite the challenge, yes. The weather is quite a nice change, and it’s much more enjoyable to watch the game without holding onto an umbrella in one hand. What has been the most memorable part of this game so far?

    Martín: Is it too self centered if I say it was that amazing kiss I gave Sevy? Between you and me, I’m sure he’ll be thinking about it for days. Oh and can’t forget how the yappy chihuahua...I mean Felton, got hit by a bludger. True poetic justice. Most wonderful thing I’ve seen all day...other than your pretty face.

    Lien:I have no comment on that, other than to say, don’t you have a boyfriend? I think poor Felton had a very different perspective of that event, but it was certainly memorable for everyone. On that note, what is your favorite thing about being a spectator for Quidditch games? How has this experience been different from being part of the game itself, as you were in the last one?

    Martín: Being a spectator is really boring, I don’t know how people do it, or maybe it was just the game that isn’t all that entertaining. It felt like it doesn’t have the fighting spirit of the last match, or maybe I just feel that way because I’m not playing. Wouldn’t you love to see me out there?

    Lien:I thought it was an entertaining enough match, but I don’t have to compare it to being in the actual game. It is always interesting to think about the what-ifs. If you were truly out there, how do you think you and your team would have compared in today’s game?

    Martín: Oh, the Pixies, where do I get started with that bunch? It would have been a very different game, that’s for sure, but I bet we would have had a lot fun. Quidditch isn’t Quidditch if you don’t enjoy yourself, and I really enjoyed myself last time I played.

  • T. Koenig |Columnist
    Quidditch Mascots and the Teams They Represent

    The Arrows. The Harpies. The Wasps. The Magpies.

    A good nickname is integral to any good quidditch team. As cute as the London Lollies would be, you wouldn’t have quite the same intimidation factor as say, the Bristol Brawlers. Of course, a team nickname doesn’t have to be intimidating. The Pride of Portree for example doesn’t strike fear into the heart of their enemies out of being something terrifying, but rather before being emotionally strong.

    Our teams this quidditch season all had strong team names that seemed to fit them incredibly well. While normally, you find would find a city and a nickname as a team name, these teams instead decided to give their teams adjectives for the cities instead. Let’s take a gander at these names.

    First up, our season champions, the Notorious Nundu. If you’re not the type to pay attention in class, you might not realize how appropriate it is that this team of elites called themselves the Nundu. A Nundu is a type of magical beast native to Eastern Africa, and it’s absolutely dangerous, with sheer size and strength, and toxic breath that can wipe out entire villages! (This isn’t to say that anyone on the team forgets to brush their teeth, simply that Nundu are terrifying!) It stands fitting that a creature that cannot be subdued by less than one hundred wizards stood as a mascot for a ferocious team that absolutely decimated everyone in their path. Of course, the “Notorious” name isn’t to be taken lightly. Sascha Klaus, team captain of the Nundu knew exactly who his teammates were when he gave them a descriptor that means famous - but in a bad way. And the strength and power this team brought to the pitch was nothing but bad - for the other teams, at least!

    Next up, we have the Kinetic Kitsune. Kitsune simply means fox in Japanese, and not any sort of magical creature. However, in Japanese folklore, foxes themselves are considered to be magical beings, capable of shape-shifting and prone to either trickery or loyalty. It seems a rather apt nickname for this ragtag team, full of both amateurs (the captain, Kiichigo Sato, had never played in a game previous to the one against the Nundu!) and more experienced players (Hadleigh Dowling, for example, is rumored to be a few negotiations away from signing with Montrose Magpies!). The team’s ability to go from simple mistakes to incredible skill from player to player is something to behold, and rather lie shapeshifting in this reporter’s opinion, and the intense loyalty between most of the teammates what quite lovely to see. Nevermind the fact that the captain’s lack of skill turned out to be quite tricky indeed. As far as the Kinetic part goes, well.. One only had to watch that came to know exactly where this came from. The Kitsune were absolutely frenetic on the pitch, constantly scrambling for the quaffle where they could. Kinetic, indeed!

    And Finally, we have the Pickled Pixies. The team was eliminated by the Nundu early in the quidditch season, but that didn’t stop them from having quite the team name! Pixies, as most of us are well aware, Pixies are small, obnoxious little flying things, but capable of great feats of strength. That’s definitely true for this team. Not to call them obnoxious, of course, but the team was known for it’s love of fouls and attempts to play dirty. Add in their absolute tenacity when going against opponents much bigger than them, it’s easy to draw comparisons between them and the blue things we all had to study in Defense Against the Dark Arts! Pickled, of course, is a strange adjective to throw in front of pixie, unless you’re at some eatery who specializes in such delicacies(?), but this reporter is confident that she’s figured out the true meaning behind it! To pickle something is soak it in some sort of vinegar until it’s well preserved. Well, dear readers, based on some of the actions thrown about in their game, it can only be assumed that the Pixies are quite sour, but that only served to preserve their memory for the lovely spectators who attended this games this season.

    That’s all for this in depth look at the teams and their nicknames for this season. Stay tuned for next season and maybe a new crop of team nicknames with crop up to be analyzed!

  • M. De Clercq | Columnist
    Kiss Cam Column

    Welcome back, ladies, gents, and everyone, because the Kiss Cam was present at the second game of the season as well! Last edition brought us tenderness, passion, sweetness,… In other words: sugar, spice and everything nice! But if we thought we had seen it all, then boy were we wrong! For the second game we mixed things up, allowing the cute and romantic couples from last game their privacy, as we took more chances with our choices.

    Severin Larsson and Martín Marzán set the stage with a kiss with punch – literally. What was probably a dream combination for the viewers – watching two popular quidditch players making out? Sign me up – wasn’t as welcomed by Severin himself. Mars, in true Gryffindor fashion, didn’t let this stop him though, but he paid the price. Perhaps I imagined it, but I could’ve sworn I heard Severin’s slap echoing throughout the stadium. This was one hell of a way to start this game’s Kiss Cam, guys! Though perhaps next time I’ll try to find some less destructive passion.

    Yet my next choices could be described as, let’s say, a bit unorthodox as well. Really, I was just trying to be a good match maker this time – and if I hear someone quip a comment about licking lollipops, my shipper sense kicks in. I honestly wasn’t trying to make things awkward for Brydon and Stan, I swear! That was unfortunately the case though, as Archie Munn didn’t seem too pleased that I picked his brother for the very public Kiss Cam. Clearly, there was only one thing to do that could fix this.

    Make things even more awkward.

    I’m not sure what I was thinking. Perhaps that Archibald couldn’t blame Stan for participating in the Kiss Cam if he was chosen for it himself? Or that he wouldn’t be able to keep fussing about it if he suddenly had to worry about his own position? At least the friendly neighbourhood Hufflepuff next to him didn’t seem ruffled in the slightest, and handled the situation gracefully with a kiss on the cheek. I gotta say, Njord Vikernes looks like a perfect combination of He-Man’s abs and a teddy bear’s cuddliness. What’s there to complain about, Archie?

    This could’ve discouraged me, I could’ve considered this a sign that I should go back to bothering actual couples and actual couples alone – so, people who don’t mind kissing each other. But where’s the fun in that? What I did instead was use my Kiss Cam powers to introduce strangers to each other – which could’ve been the most awkward encounter in the history of quidditch fans, or it could ensure people have someone to watch the game with. Well, I’m not sure how it went once I left, but I for one do not regret matching Stellan and Brandy for Kiss Cam. He seemed kind of lost when I bumped into him, so I just had to find him some company, and Brandy was the first person I noticed. I mean, how can you not notice her? Her hair looks great, and girl, can I have some of your energy? She’s fierce, and so was that kiss!

    That kiss proved to be a turning point for the this game’s Kiss Cam, because the kisses that followed seemed completely different from the once before. Sure, the kiss that Redder and Vaughn shared could be described as awkward, but it was also endearing and cute. You know, in some cultures it’s not weird at all to kiss your friends, so why do we have to make it weird?! …Or maybe there was something other than friendship in the air there? (I’m not nosy I’m invested.)

    The winners of cute would be Tori and Thanatos though. This could also easily have been awkward, but that kiss on the forehead was sweet and considerate. A total win. In hindsight, I feel like I missed out by not featuring Thanatos’ dolls on the Kiss Cam, that would’ve been a fun, light-hearted break wouldn’t it?

    Speaking of breaks… Why didn’t anybody tell me Izaak and Theodora were on one?! Or whatever it was that was going on in their relationship. I should’ve known, I am holding you all personally responsible for being so bad at gossip that this news hadn’t reached me. Unbelievable. Now that could have been awkward – actually, it was, but also completely worth it. That was one helluva kiss to end the season with!

  • M. De Clercq | Advertiser

    The Three Broomsticks may serve some great butterbeer, and Honeydukes is the number one cause of cavities amongst Hogwarts students, but if you think your Hogsmeade trip stops there, then you are missing out on some great food. Next Hogsmeade weekend, try the bakery – O-Dellicious! truly lives up to its name.

    Invisible ink – for whenever you think “I probably shouldn’t even be writing this down.”

    Have you ever found yourself in the predicament that you’re just wandering the corridors and suddenly it hits you – the very inconvenient, very pressing… need to pee. Fear no more! For only one (1) galleon, you can make use of state of the art facilities for all your toilet needs. If you need to use the lavatories often, then we have something just for you: Come and get your punch card today – the 10th pee is free! (This ad is sponsored by Plunkett Enterprises.)

    Revealers – for when your peers are stupid enough to write their deepest secrets down.

    Finally, end of the year – OWLs and NEWTs are over, and you can all go home without a care in the world for two whole months… That is, if you aren’t expecting an awful report card to turn the mood at home sour. A few galleons can easily make that problem go away though, as we know just the guy to turn those Ts into Os. He also does permission slips, approved absence notes, and fake letters from your little sister’s crush in case you want to be really cruel this summer. Huizinga & Co., Ground Floor, Broom Closet. Serious inquiries only.

    Too young to apparate? Not a great flier? No portkeys on hand? Does floo powder ruin your clothes? Just stick out your wand hand to hail the Knight Bus! Fast transportation, across all of Britain, for a decent price!

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