stuck in a rut, wide open

[Kiska Ferdenova]

Feelings of inadequacy threatened to overwhelm her.

Lately, things hadn’t felt right. Almost everything was skewed, out of place. When you were an adult, you tended to handle things like that better; you had all those previous years of experience, after all. Even though, technically, the girl was seventeen, of legal age in the wizarding world, Kiska wouldn’t have classified herself as an adult. There was still much to learn, much to experience, much to see… And she would readily admit to that. But there was also a lot that she wanted to understand now, and managing things within her life was on that list. What could a girl at seventeen away at boarding school have to deal with, really? She didn’t have boy troubles because she wouldn’t ever let a boy far enough to cause her some. So that was out. She had friends that had their own dramas and seldom included her in them, but they were girls and consistently had fun. So that was out. Magic wasn’t difficult for her. So that was out… Or was it? Her classes had been a struggle for the past few weeks, and she wasn’t able to bring herself to care about the poor grades she was receiving. Her attention was wandering when things about classes and subjects came around. She wanted to be elsewhere. She wanted to be out in the world.

But what in Merlin’s name would she do out there, especially with a limited education? It wasn’t as though she had previous work experience, because she rather enjoyed having her summers to herself and to her family, no matter how ridiculous her sisters had this tendency of being. And, although Kiss had never looked into it, she sincerely doubted that there was a place nearby particularly fielded towards Hogwarts students as a workplace. The job experience would only come after she had graduated and paid her dues. But, oh, she wanted it now. She wanted to start her own life, live her own life, and be free enough not to feel constrained in the place she was at. Because, right now, shifting around in her seat in the middle of Transfiguration, there was almost a claustrophobic feel threatening to overtake her. The student next to her was too close, there wasn’t enough room for her legs under the desk, the seat was too hard, the room was too small, the professor’s voice was too loud… A low hum began in her ears and a loud screech and tumble indicated that somebody in the room had abruptly stood up. One guess as to who it was.

Stuffing her things into her bag haphazardly, hearing the rip and shred of various bits of paper and parchment that littered it, Kiska ignored the stares of her classmates and the protests of her professor. Detention was frequent and nothing new to the Gryffindor. There was nothing this professor could make her do that she hadn’t already done before. Oh, yeah, that feeling of world-weariness was stupid, too. What the hell was she feeling it for? She was too young to feel as though she’d seen it all and done it all, even though the girl was well aware that she hadn’t. Shaking her head as though to get rid of the very confusing thoughts that plagued her head, another unexpected surprise hit her as she half-stumbled, half-jogged, her way through the corridors. A very faint lump had started to form in her throat, and it would not be dislodged. In fact, with every step that was made, the lump grew larger until, when Kiska finally burst outside into the open air and launched her bag down the stairs, tears were already forming in her eyes.

“What the bloody hell is this?” she shouted towards the sky, throwing her arms wide in a very visibly exasperated motion. “What is this?” Kiss repeated to herself, slumping into a seated position with her head resting against the railing of the staircase, her eyes fixated on her bag and the items within it that were several stairs down and sprawled everywhere. A bit of paper even blew away on the wind, though it failed to capture her attention. She was seeing without seeing, lost in a world that lacked logic.

[Alric Bolstridge]

Problems were… problematic. Obviously, the words went together perfectly, but they weren’t used to merely be silly. There truly was no other way for the seventh year to describe problems. They were just hard, and they tended to hinder everything a person did regardless of the fact that said problem wasn’t even connected to everything. It was difficult, then, to sit in one class – Divinations, for example – and focus on what was being taught when there were all these problems circling around the Hufflepuff’s mind. That being said, it certainly wasn’t like Alric to go around ditching class, especially one that he had chosen to take out of self-interest. Perhaps there was something out there feeling gracious towards the eighteen year old though, because after nearly an hour of intensive lecture, his professor had decided to end class a few minutes early. With haste the badger packed his things, feeling his desire to search for something interesting burning brighter with every second. This was his thing; his sort of escape from everything he wasn’t content with in his life. To find something – anything – out of the ordinary, or even something that couldn’t particularly be dubbed ‘common’ was what the badger helped distract himself with. It was easy enough for him to find things to observe, as, by now in his career at Hogwarts, he knew of plenty of places that were notorious for containing some of the more unexpected things. So as he wandered down the halls, his nostrils filling with the weak combination of dirt, perspiration and cheap cologne, he knew very well where his first stops should be.

Amongst the light crowd of students in the corridor he had come from, Alric walked at a slow pace, keeping to his personal bubble and doing his best to keep from stepping on anyone’s toes. He wasn’t very well at not doing that when he was surrounded by loads of people, so he typically had to travel around slower as a precaution. Soon, though, the crowds began thinning even more, allowing the boy more arm and leg space to move around normally. Tilting his way to one side, the badger found himself dragging along his hand nearest to the wall, indulging in the cool surface the stone walls provided. Against the pads of his finger tips he felt the rigid surface, occasionally feeling random large dips in the wall and allowing his finger to run smoothly over them. He continued in this manner, wandering around corners, through passageways and past abandoned classrooms, visiting nearly every inch of the castle that he knew of that might contain something of interest. He found nothing, though, and continued in his aimless walking, reverting to merely forcing himself to find anything to look at. Old portraits, statues, and even door knobs were what the Hufflepuff examined; all pointless, meaningless things, yet to the badger, they sparked the tiniest spec of interest him, just enough to allow him random seconds to think on other things aside from what ailed him. The eighteen year old could not rely on the power of randomness forever though, and soon he became resistant against its power, no longer finding anything to relieve him of his stress.

His feet knew of a cure for this disease though, carrying his aching soul to the outdoors, presuming that nature would tend to him. Slowly he crept along the corridors, doing so to keep the tense, swelling sensation that burned his chest, down to a minimal intensity. By the time the badger had reached the door to exit the castle, his lips were dry, prompting him to stop and swipe his tongue over them before pushing against the large doors to leave. The sight he found upon exiting was peculiar, as his eyes had quickly found a girl, seemingly to have fallen upon the steps in front of him. A soft echo of what she had shouted barely touched his ears, leaving him with the gnawing curiosity as to what exactly she had said. The girl was positioned atop the steps in a drastic manner, her body almost appearing to shiver at the slightest, making the boy shift attention to the air outside. It felt light upon his skin, its temperature neither feeling too hot nor too cold, yet there was a strong enough presence of a chill that sent a gentle wave across the land. Turning his gaze back onto the girl, Alric noted how light the blonde that stained her hair was, almost appearing sugary and sweet. It was… an odd comparison for the boy, but he ignored this and ventured forth, soon coming to just diagonal to her side, surely within speaking distance but not close enough to invade her space. Glancing down out of the corner of his eye, the girl seemed to sport the colors of a sadden spirit, shown clearly so in the way she rested her head against the railing of the staircase, with hair masking her face easily, leaving the badger with even more questions as to what had happened with her. In front of his view he could see what was likely her bag, its contents appearing to have exploded from out of it and covering the entire area before them. The boy wasn’t sure what had happened, wasn’t sure if it was wise of him to even dare to stand so near to the blonde, but in desperate need for some distraction – and with his caring side beginning to kick in—Alric rose his voice to slightly above a whisper and asked, “Mind if I sit by you, Miss?”