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 [so eden sank to grief], walter // kels
Eve Whelan
 Posted: Dec 27 2016, 08:55 PM
Quote

"'cause i'm hollow"

AGE:
YEAR:
Sixth
HOUSE:
Hufflepuff
CLASH:
Undecided
HEIGHT:
5'8"
STATUS:
Taken
POSTS:
86
Rep: 2 pts [ + | - ]

Eve Whelan
© Lyx //
Awards: 10



Her fingers rubbed at the collar of her crisp uniform shirt as she wandered into the common room with a group of Hufflepuffs headed back from Herbology. Underneath, glamoured carefully, lay a long, deep scratch that she had somehow gotten in her sleep. Her nightmares were terrible, and if she hadn’t been sure that she did it to herself, she would say that the nightmare werewolf that she kept seeing –her Uncle Elijah towering over her- had been real. Absently, her thoughts drifted to her cousin, Joshua, beautiful and golden.

Nothing gold can stay, not the prime of youth, not the innocence of childhood, not the purest, bravest hearts she knew. Everything turned to ash and soot.

Her mouth had tasted like ash when she woke from dreams of banshee screams, ash and blood, red and dirty and red like the liquid on her hands, her sheets, and her neck. She didn’t dare tell anyone what she had seen; these were stories that she grew up with, superstitions that she had always taken to heart. Seeing the Bean Sidhe in your sleep was an omen, and not a good one, and she knew better than to let others know that.

She wondered if this was how Joshua felt before he died, seeing the wailing woman in his sleep and knowing that no matter what he did, she was heralding his end.

(She hadn’t seen Andrew in days, and that only aided in her worries. Her brother was not like Esau, who was loyal to people, he was loyal to the clan’s hierarchy and traditions and if he knew- If he knew, he would cut her down where she stood and then Elijah wouldn’t have to do the dirty work.)

Her hand tugged at her tie and instead of going toward her dorm, she turned and headed to Walter’s, the ancient tome in her bag making her feel that much heavier. Joshua was already their martyr, and part of her was telling herself that she didn’t need to become one as well. She could be a coward. Being a coward was easy. She couldn’t deal with the weight of being complicit in her cousin’s death being made to look like an unfortunate accident, in letting her blood get away with another murder in the name of no loose ends.

Wally wasn’t there when she entered the room, and maybe that was for the better. As she sat on the edge of his bed, alone in the dormitory, the overwhelming scent of him engulfed her, bringing tears to her eyes. The others would be fine without her. Miriam had Esau, her sentinel. Andrew didn’t need anyone. Joshua was at peace. Walter, and Nellie, though. Who would care for them when she was gone? Nell already had so much on her shoulders, even though her brother had tried not to make his problems her problem. Losing her would destroy him, and he would never be the same.

Her face sank into her hands as the tears came, gasping sobs filling her ears. She didn’t want this burden. She never wanted this weight in her heart and on her mind, and she knew, she knew that she had to do this. Lambs eventually became lions and this was her time to rise up, betray her blood, and stand up for what she believed. She didn’t realize how hard she was crying or even that she wasn’t alone anymore until she was wrapped in a tight embrace, pulled close to a familiar chest. Even with Walter there, she couldn’t stop, her chest hurting. She felt like she was drowning, suffocating on dry land, and for once, the gravity of what she was about to do was beginning to settle in.

She had slipped into a full-blown panic attack.


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Walter Miller
 Posted: Aug 7 2017, 09:15 PM
Quote

"I'm not angry, I'm just saying."

AGE:
16
YEAR:
6
HOUSE:
Hufflepuff
CLASH:
N/A
HEIGHT:
5' 7"
STATUS:
Taken
POSTS:
156
Rep: 0 pts [ + | - ]

Walter Miller
© Kels // she/her
Awards: 25



Walter felt a shiver run along his spine as he shoved the door to the potions classroom open and hurried out. A voice in his head reminded him that being the last one in and the first one out left a rather unsavory impression. Yet the feeling of a thousand critical eyes watching--no, judging--became too much to handle, and the Hufflepuff boy was more than relieved when the Professor finally excused them. Goosebumps spread across the flesh of his arms, and Walter wondered if his peers could see the way he shivered, or if his paranoia was all in his mind. It was a shame how one of his favorite classes could bring him nothing but anxiety now.

The textbooks in his arms felt as heavy as his eyelids, and the bags under his eyes were so large on his pale face that they could carry his textbooks. Walter's dreams held nothing but black, freezing waves that rolled over him again and again, stealing the breath from his lungs and pulling him further away from the warm embrace of the sun. The pounding headache behind his eyes did little to help his waking hours, let alone his nights. He pulled back the sleeve of his robe to check his watch. His next class wasn't for another hour at least. Sleep was out of the question, but Walter hoped against hope that a nap wouldn't hurt. I doubt it'll help, either, he thought with a grimace. But it's something.

Exhaustion clouded his mind so thoroughly that the sound of Eve sobbing from inside his dorm room escaped his notice until he opened the door and spotted the distraught redhead sitting on his bed. Even then it took him a moment to register the sound of her sobbing her bloody heart out.

He stood there, frozen. Walter hadn't seen Eve this upset since...well, not since Joshua's horrible death. The sound of the late Gryffindor choking for breath still echoed in Walter's ears when the room became too quiet, and some morning, when the haze of sleep still had him drowning, the Hufflepuff could swear he still had marks on his arms from where Joshua clutched him, his blue eyes wide and panicked, pleading please, Walter, oh God, I don't want to die!

Blinking back to the present, Walter focused on Eve. The way her hair covered her face looked like a rusty wedding veil. Her shoulders heaved the force of her sobs, and her hands did little to smother the volume. All at once, Walter's heavy heart broke. Carefully, so as not to startle her, the young boy made his way beside her and gathered her shivering frame up into his lanky arms.

“I know love,” he whispered as his voice broke. Tears stung at his eyes as his girlfriend leaned into him. “I'm sorry. I know. I've got you, I'm right here.” Her anguished wails could put even Moaning Myrtle to shame. All too soon, those wails turned into silent gasps for air. Walter's heart stopped for a moment, thinking that her lips would turn blue and she'd begin to scratch at her throat like her cousin did before her. Logic won out after a tense moment of Walter thinking he was about to witness the death of his girlfriend. She was having a panic attack, a terrifying sensation that Walter knew all too well. With trembling hands, Walter smoothed Eve's hair down as he whispered soothing words to her.

“Lay down, hush, hush, I'll be right back, I promise,” he told her. He untangled himself from her arms and laid her down by his pillows before he threw his heavy winter comforter over her skinny body and tucked it around her, almost akin to the way his mother used to swaddle his siblings when they were tots. He dug through his bedside drawer to find the MP3 player his oldest sister gave him for Christmas many years ago and played one of his favorite songs. As the soothing sound of violins settled around them, Walter stretched himself out next to his housemate and pulled her closer until his chin rested on top of her head. He had no idea if those things would help calm her down, but it was what she did for him when he became too overwhelmed with his family, his schooling, Hensley, Joshua, everything. And how could he do any less for her?

“I'm here, love,” he repeated as his own tears fell free. He ran his thin fingers through her copper hair. “I know, I'm sorry. I'm here, I'm right here.”

@Eve Whelan

--------------------
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Eve Whelan
 Posted: Aug 12 2017, 01:37 PM
Quote

"'cause i'm hollow"

AGE:
YEAR:
Sixth
HOUSE:
Hufflepuff
CLASH:
Undecided
HEIGHT:
5'8"
STATUS:
Taken
POSTS:
86
Rep: 2 pts [ + | - ]

Eve Whelan
© Lyx //
Awards: 10



The sound of her boyfriend’s voice was distant, almost like someone trying to call to her through a storm and guide her home. His hands smoothed down her hair as he tried to bring her back and she tried to stop choking on sobs and gasps for air, as if someone had shoved her head underwater and let her up again just as she started to fight for air again.

His hands were careful as he laid her back against the pillows on his bed, not the first time and certainly not the last. Without him to hold on to, to anchor herself, she took one of the smaller pillows, curling around it as he tossed his weighted blanket over her slender frame. The sudden pressure made her feel almost as though a weight had come off of her chest, a new sense to focus on drawing her attention away from the sensory overload that came the few times she had ever panicked.

(Eve had panicked, certainly, but never with an audience.)

He came back as the sound of violins gave her something more to focus on. Vaguely, she realized that what he was doing was what she had done for him so many times, and something about that made her want to cry more. The redhead burrowed into his chest, trying to match her breathing to his. Inhalation, shuddering exhalation, shuddering inhalation, but she was still breathing, or trying to at least. She was still breathing. Eve was still alive. Walter was warm and solid against her frame, his lips on her forehead, his fingers running though her long waves, and this was real.

That didn’t stop her from feeling as though she would begin to hear banshee screams at any moment.

She hadn’t told Walter about the weight that she was carrying. She hadn’t told anyone but Madame Breen. Not even Mariposa knew this, nor Miriam. Sweet Miriam who had not been the same since she lost Joshua, who took longer to recover from the full moons, who looked sallow and ill even when the next moon was a whole lifetime away. The things that she had learned from the clan’s own words, through Ezrah… they would destroy whatever semblance was left of life in her family, and they were the only family she would have left after this.

“I have to do something,” she mumbled into Walter’s chest. “The best case scenario is that I’m excommunicated. The worst case…” she made a small sound like a sob, but continued. “Joshua saw banshees in his dreams and so am I.”

@Walter Miller
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Walter Miller
 Posted: Sep 3 2017, 01:53 PM
Quote

"I'm not angry, I'm just saying."

AGE:
16
YEAR:
6
HOUSE:
Hufflepuff
CLASH:
N/A
HEIGHT:
5' 7"
STATUS:
Taken
POSTS:
156
Rep: 0 pts [ + | - ]

Walter Miller
© Kels // she/her
Awards: 25



Walter almost missed the words as his heartbroken girlfriend mumbled them into his chest, but when he heard them his blood ran cold.

"Excommunicated? What do you mean?" She was exaggerating, right? Not that he would dare say so out loud, but then again he knew very little of Eve's extended family. Excommunicated could easily mean disowned, much like his own family did to his older brother, Noah, but...

Wait. Banshees?

Walter knew of the creatures, or at least the lore behind them. His heart broke as he thought back to his own nightmares and the terrors they held. He pulled Eve closer to his chest. Had she worried herself so much that she believed she was seeing death omens? Walter's throat clenched, and he swallowed the urge to scream. God help us, we're only children and we're afraid of dying?! We shouldn't be going through this! No-one should!

The young man bit his lips to keep himself from speaking his thoughts aloud, but what if they just...ran away?

It was idealistic and fanciful and so very, very childish, but bugger it all he wanted it none-the-less. He imagined them running off after their final year at Hogwarts, eloping in some tiny church in a random village on the outskirts of Scotland. Far away for either of their families, save for Miriam, Nell, and Luke of course. In a perfect world, Noah and Martha are there, too. Hensley lives next door, and there's never any trouble ever. No more nightmares, no more looking over their shoulders. Four walls around them, a roof above them, each other beside them, and children surrounding them.

"I've been having dreams, too," he confessed, not knowing what else to say in the silence. "I'm drowning, always drowning...sometimes I wake up and I still can't breathe." He buried his nose in her copper colored hair and took a deep breath, as if to prove he still could. Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes. He was tired. So, so tired.

"Will we ever be at peace?" he whispered to himself, though he knew Eve could hear him. His voice was hoarse, as if he had been the one sobbing his lungs out only moments before. "Or will we be trapped like this forever?"

@Eve Whelan

--------------------
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Eve Whelan
 Posted: Sep 7 2017, 12:09 AM
Quote

"'cause i'm hollow"

AGE:
YEAR:
Sixth
HOUSE:
Hufflepuff
CLASH:
Undecided
HEIGHT:
5'8"
STATUS:
Taken
POSTS:
86
Rep: 2 pts [ + | - ]

Eve Whelan
© Lyx //
Awards: 10



What do you mean?

How could she possibly begin to explain? She had tried to tell him when they first started dating that it wasn’t a good idea for them to be together. She had told him, vaguely, that her family was dangerous, and that she didn’t want to see him hurt.

He didn’t know about the rigidity of the castes. He didn’t know that she was a breeder, designated to be one of the children brainwashed into settling down and never believing that she could be more, having a dozen children to watch half a dozen of them sent away to the slaughter, only to repeat the cycle again and again, like triple spirals, a serpent biting its tail.

He spoke of dreams, of drowning, and Eve wanted nothing more than to cradle his face in her hands and tell him she was sorry, but they were not the same. He took a deep breath, and instinctively, she followed, nestling closer to his chest and holding tightly to his shirt as he buried his nose in her messy copper tresses.

The reality was that they might very well be trapped. It was so idealistic and foolish to think that they could run. Even Miriam hadn’t been able to escape, and she had been away from the clan for what seemed like a lifetime, excommunicated and cast out as she was worthless to Elijah, her own father. Eve was different. There would always be more breeders. She was disposable, and would just as soon be cut down like an invasive plant the moment she was caught.

“Joshua wasn’t an accident,” she breathed finally. Screw the Taboo. She was going to leave the next morning, and scared as she was, she had to risk this. The Hufflepuff had already risked a lot to that point. “The family knew that he knew too much, that he could take what he knew to the people who would see the family tree razed to the ground. I know what he knows. I can’t let his death be in vain… He wouldn’t let either of us go without getting some kind of justice for us.” The words caught in her throat. “Excommunication is a little worse than being disowned. I’ll have nothing. I’ll have nobody. Evil as they are, they’re all I know. But they’ll kill me if they catch me first, so I’m going to see someone tomorrow, but I might not make it back. I need-”

Her breath hitched, the girl closing her eyes tightly as she pressed her face into his shirt. “I need to know you’ll be okay without me.”

@Walter Miller
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Walter Miller
 Posted: Sep 26 2017, 10:50 AM
Quote

"I'm not angry, I'm just saying."

AGE:
16
YEAR:
6
HOUSE:
Hufflepuff
CLASH:
N/A
HEIGHT:
5' 7"
STATUS:
Taken
POSTS:
156
Rep: 0 pts [ + | - ]

Walter Miller
© Kels // she/her
Awards: 25



Walter's heart stopped and his eyes stung as he tried to comprehend the words Eve spoke to him. He had little time to do so, as the red-head continued to speak.

Knew too much? What did that even mean? The family? What was so terrible for Joshua to know that his own family would kill him in a such a horrific way?

I know what he knows. Those words made Walter's blood run cold. In his minds eye, he could see it. Eve's green eyes turning red and watery as she choked to death. Her lips that he'd kissed so many times turning blue, gasping for air that wouldn't—couldn't come. Her long nails scratching at her throat in desperation, with Walter helpless to stop it, just like with Joshua. The young man's entire body trembled at the thought.

The Hufflepuff girl pressed herself into his shirt, and he was at a loss for words. Would he be okay? Of course he bloody wouldn't! Eve had been his rock for so long! After he and Hensley had had that terrible fight, Walter had withdrawn so much from everyone else. The red-head had been the only one who pt up with his bullshit and stuck around. The withdraws, the cravings, the nightmares...Eve had been there to hold his hand through it all. And he hadn't exactly been boyfriend of the year during all that time, either.

He really wouldn't be okay. He knew this. She knew this. And who knew? Leaving might not even do anything at all. Whoever wanted Eve and Joshua dead could easily come after Walter. He was a sitting duck at Hogwarts, with nowhere else to go. But she...she needed him to be okay.

He could pretend he could do that for Eve. For a little while.

“I'll—” his voice cracked. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I'll be alright, Evie. You know me,heh. Always keeping my head down. I'll be fine.” His voice wavered near the end. There was a quiet pause as the music playing in the background ended, then began again.

He pressed his lips to the top of her head once more, memorizing the feeling of her silky hair against the sensitive skin of his dry, chapped lips. “I'll miss you, though,” he whispered as his throat constricted around the words. “I'll miss you a whole lot, more than anything.”

He swallowed. “But I'll be here,” he said after a moment. “When you come back, I'll be here, same as always. Don't—don't worry too much about me, alright?” His hands rubbed circles against her back. He was sure his heart sounded like the beating of a hummingbird's wings behind his ribs. It felt like it was trying it's best to burst out of his chest to escape the inevitable heartbreak.

She said tomorrow, and God help him it was happening, wasn't it? She was really leaving.

“I love you, Eve Whelan,” he whispered. It had felt so final, he almost wished he hadn't said it at all. But he knew he'd regret it if he didn't, so he said it again. “I love you.”

@Eve Whelan

--------------------
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Eve Whelan
 Posted: Oct 1 2017, 11:27 AM
Quote

"'cause i'm hollow"

AGE:
YEAR:
Sixth
HOUSE:
Hufflepuff
CLASH:
Undecided
HEIGHT:
5'8"
STATUS:
Taken
POSTS:
86
Rep: 2 pts [ + | - ]

Eve Whelan
© Lyx //
Awards: 10



Eve knew wally well enough to know when he was lying to her. The sad thing was that short of Hensley, she was pretty sure that she was the only one who knew the extent of it. The red haired Hufflepuff knew that she was asking so much of him, especially in light of his relationship with Hensley being on the rocks, as well as his relationship with sobriety. For all she had done for him since they had come together, this was the only thing that she had asked from him, even after times where she’d been more a nursemaid than a girlfriend.

He lied, promised her that he would be fine, keep his head down. He kissed the top of her head and her heart caught on the tip of her tongue.

I’ll miss you, though. I’ll miss you a whole lot, more than anything.

A shudder went through her, a sob that she tried to keep from bubbling over her lips. She would miss him, too. And if her time came, that would more than likely be one of her last thoughts, how much she would miss Walter. He asked her not to worry about him, and if she wasn’t on the verge of crying again, then she might of laughed. She could feel the hysteria. Asking Eve not to worry about Walter was like asking Walter to function without Eve; it simply was not in the stars for a binary system like the pair of them. “If you’ll be fine, then I’ll have no cause to worry.”

She didn’t dare to try and impress upon him that this might be the last time he ever saw her alive. The Whelan girl knew that he knew, and besides, what good would it do? What good would it do to tell the boy who wanted to whisk her away, marry her, and one day father her children that this might be their last goodbye? That she could very well die somewhere between Hogwarts and the Ministry? In her heart, she knew that he would want to take her and run, but she also knew that if they did that, if they ran now, then they would never truly stop running.

I love you, Eve Whelan, he said, and it held the finality of someone slamming the door behind them for the last time.

I love you.

She burrowed closer to his chest, as if she could pull the rungs of his ribs over her head like a crown to keep her safe. Hot tears stung her eyes once more, and she was sure that she could feel them falling, cooling as they traced a path along his collarbone the way her fingertips might have in another life, a lighter place. The Whelan girl didn’t want to say it back. She didn’t want to be forced to say it back now, didn’t want her first declaration of love to sound like a goodbye.

Fact was, if it didn’t happen now, this particular window might not open again at all. “I love you,” she said softly, sounding as small and pitiful as she felt in that moment. “Wait for me, okay?” She could die. She was probably going to, they were probably going to send Andrew or Esau after her, but the idea that Wally would be waiting for her gave her something to run toward, instead of just something that she was running away from. “Be here waiting for me.”

@Walter Miller
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Walter Miller
 Posted: Oct 8 2017, 03:42 PM
Quote

"I'm not angry, I'm just saying."

AGE:
16
YEAR:
6
HOUSE:
Hufflepuff
CLASH:
N/A
HEIGHT:
5' 7"
STATUS:
Taken
POSTS:
156
Rep: 0 pts [ + | - ]

Walter Miller
© Kels // she/her
Awards: 25



I love you.

It had been so quiet that Walter almost missed it. It felt like a punch to his gut.

No. That wasn't right.

No, it felt like a strong gust of wind. A gust of wind on the edge of a cliff over-looking the ocean. The waves crashed against the jagged, rocky base. It filled his lungs so much he felt dizzy. High. And it would be so, so easy to fall off the edge. Just one step, arms outstretched, eyes closed. Easy.

Wait for me.

Like he could do anything else. The illusion of choice. His life was defined by the illusion of choice.

"You know I will," he promised. For a brief moment, the thought of performing an unbreakable vow crossed his mind. Walter had only hear whispers of it, wouldn't even know how to perform it if he wanted to.

He'd do it, though. Do it in a heart-beat. Even if Eve never came back, he'd stay at Hogwarts. Hell, he'd probably join Joshua in the unfortunately growing population of ghostly students. He would wander the towers like the Grey Lady the Ravenclaws whispered about. Ignoring the students in favor of staring out into the distance, waiting for that familiar flow of red hair.

And to think they had mocked Romeo and Juliet for being over-dramatic.

"What do you say? Astronomy Tower, right as the sun goes down. First one to spot Saturn wins." He looked down at the top of Eve's head, took her chin between his fingers and tilted her head up. Tears streaked down her face, and her green-tinted hazel eyes were so bloodshot they were almost as red as her hair.

He was sure his appearance fared no better.

"How's that sound? Sound like a plan?" It was as much an unbreakable vow as anything. The Hufflepuff boy would stalk the Astronomy tower long after death came for him.

Because I could not stop for Death, he kindly stopped for me. The carriage held but just ourselves, and immortality.

@Eve Whelan
---------
the final quote is from "Because I could not stop for Death" by Emily Dickinson.

--------------------
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Eve Whelan
 Posted: Oct 11 2017, 03:39 PM
Quote

"'cause i'm hollow"

AGE:
YEAR:
Sixth
HOUSE:
Hufflepuff
CLASH:
Undecided
HEIGHT:
5'8"
STATUS:
Taken
POSTS:
86
Rep: 2 pts [ + | - ]

Eve Whelan
© Lyx //
Awards: 10



It felt like goodbye. It all felt like goodbye, every breath of this. It made Eve want to cling tight to him, as if digging her nails into the earth would help stop her from being dragged away by the wolves at her door.

But Walter promised that he would wait for her, and this one didn’t feel like a lie. No, this one was a vow, and something about that was worse than a lie. He would wait for her, and she hoped that he wouldn’t have to wait until the end of time.

She wanted to stay cradled close to his chest, but his fingers took her chin in a gentle grip, tipping her face up so that she would look at him. The sorrow in his eyes made her feel a sickening sense of regret, but she knew that if it was just sprung on him the way that Joshua had been, he would never recover. It would hurt. It probably wouldn’t stop hurting. But they would get through it. They would have to, somehow.

This was what Ezrah had been teaching her about for so long. Love worth fighting for, life worth living, something that meant so much that all the puzzle pieces slid into place and finally made a whole picture. Something to run toward instead of just the boggarts they fled.

“Two weeks from tomorrow,” she replied, nodding. Her eyes slipped closed, as if to ground herself in the moment. She took a deep breath, and then two more, opening her hazel-green eyes to look up at him with all the ghost of a smile that she could muster. “When I win, you owe me forever.”

@Walter Miller
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