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Posted: Nov 27 2016, 08:21 PM
It wasn’t very often that he received an invitation of this calibre.
Mr. Plugit, I need a man of your particular skills. Please meet at midnight in the trophy room. Come alone.
~ Paley Gordon
His first inclination was to assume this was some sort of twisted, juvenile joke. Like when the hottest boy in school goes up to the dumpy girl with glasses and tells her that he likes her, just to give his douchewad bros a good chuckle. Who’s to say that the seventh year girl had even written the letter? It could’ve been the whole of the Hufflepuff quidditch team, looking to catfish him in their grand revenge against all the unearthly harms he had done to their housemates. Even it was actually from Paley, how could he be sure she wasn’t out for a little blood herself? Maybe she was hoping to get her rocks off by humiliating him, strip him down to his skivvies and make him walk through the corridors at the breakfast rush. Well, if that was her intentions..
Then he’d just have to make it that much easier for her.
What was life without a little risk, after all? Sure, perhaps the seductive serpent was merely looking for a late night laugh at his expense, but if this letter could be taken for what it appeared to mean, then he’d be a damn fool to ignore it. This could very well be his only shot. The small Slytherin rubbed the hypoallergenic gel between his palms, slicking back his short, dark brown hair. It was.. a look, really something akin to the male cast of Jersey Shore, circa 2008. Satisfied with this, he went to his wardrobe, rummaging through his clothes, until he found just what he desired. This had to just about be his most prized possession, and one that he had never gotten a chance to use. He had wanted to save it for that very special someone, but who knew if she would ever come around? His hands smoothed over the deep red silk, caressing over the black crushed velvet of the collar. Alannah Myles, eat your heart out. If this didn’t get him some kitty, then nothing ever would.
Every girl was crazy for a sharp dressed man.. in a smoking jacket.
Though he couldn’t deny the slight twinge in his slimy heart, as he admired his masculinity in the mirror, that the first eyes that would lay upon this beauty would not be Theo’s. But just how long was he expected to wait for Miss Koenig? She seemed too solely preoccupied with one such particular Woodbane to the point that her only interest in Lenny was to have the little mite spy on Izaak. Of course, he was more than willing to do it.. if only to whisper lies about the older boy right into his beloved’s perfect ear. Until the moment he could claim her as his own, it only made sense to get a little practice romancing the bone. Really, this would be a good thing for him.
The pint sized peddler shivered as a cold draft from the corridor wriggled it’s way down into the deep v-neck of the robe, clinging to his open chest like frostbite. Grasping onto the collar to pull it tighter, he momentarily regretted this choice of outfit. Then he remembered how mature he must’ve looked and instantly felt a bit warmer. As he turned into the trophy room, at exactly two minutes after midnight, since being fashionably late was also very sensual, his poopfilled eyes came to rest on his conquest for the night.
As if he had ever had a conquest before.
“Well, well, Mademoiselle Gordooonn. Aren’t you looking.. delicious,” He pulled a toy tobacco pipe out of his pocket and popped it into his mouth. It blew bubbles, “If I could chop you up and then stir fry you and then eat you.. I would. I wouldn’t even need to add anything, you’re almost too spicy.” Was this sexy talk? Is this how sexy people talked? He was pretty sure it all had to do with food comparatives and wanting to eat the other. He had seen enough soft porn to know what’s up, “So I’m here, with my.. skills. Those of which particulars you require. And how might I.. service you?” With that, he blew on his pipe. And it bubbled.
Tagged: @Paley Gordon
Credit: To Amber for that wonderful letter that inspired this embarrassment
Outfit: Mmmmmmmm yes.
Posted: Dec 13 2016, 05:27 PM
Being engaged at eighteen was pretty great, if Paley had to admit. Not having to look for someone to spend the rest of her life with took so much pressure off of her, and she was able to focus on her studies - lessons she would never use once she got married, popped out a kid or two, and became a stay at home mom. It wasn't that big a deal, really. She was intelligent but it wasn't as if she was obligated to use that in the future. If her purpose in life was to lounge around and be spoiled, she would happily let all the knowledge fall into disuse. If the most she ever used what she learned was to help the children with school work when they came home for the summer, that would be more than enough.
Still, there was always hope for finding something better. Marcello and his family had money, of course - it was why they'd been sought of for an arrangement - but there were other boys at Hogwarts with much more money and prestige and she'd be remiss to not at least attempt to make something happen with them. After all, if the point of her getting married was to keep her family from ever having to work, surely they'd be okay with her maybe striking out on her own to make sure that she found the absolute best option. Perhaps it was callous to reduce something that was meant to be as meaningful as marriage to a business arrangement, but Paley had been sorted into Slytherin for a reason. It seemed counterintuitive so act against her base desires for luxury and security for some nonsense idea of love.
The Woodbanes were probably the biggest cash cow of them all. Generations of being in high positions of power or wealth had made their bank accounts fat and ripe for the picking. Plus, all of the men were in want of a wife from good pureblood stock and that was her from head to toe.. Oisin and Ursus were already engaged, so that took them out of the running, but there were still, what, hundreds of others to choose from? The most likely out of all of them though was probably Izaak. He was one of the older ones, so he'd be leaving school at the same time as her and able to marry right away. He also seemed to be the least sociable and he face had a strange sort of handsomeness to it, the sort of thing that not everyone would clamor for, she was certain, so he went to the top of her list. She couldn't very well run in guns a-blazing though so she was going to have to be a little more clever about this.
That's where Lenny Plunkett came in.
She'd seen him skulking around, following Izaak seeming taking notes on the older snake and whatever information he'd managed to get, Paley wanted to have. Learning everything about him would make his inevitable seduction go that much easier. She obviously couldn't speak to Lenny in the Slytherin common room as there were too many ears attached to brains looking to tear others down. Instead she sent him a not, asking her to meet him in the trophy room. It was secluded enough that she doubted anyone would end up just passing through. She didn't know what his price would be, but if she had to sell a few of her nicer items to pay for it, she was willing to make that investment.
She'd made her way down early - not wanting anyone to see her walking with her hopefully future business partner, and was left waiting for a while for him to arrive. When the door finally creaked up and the candlelight illuminated the figure at the door, Paley's face couldn't help screwing up in confusion. Did he actually dress like that every night? What was with the bubbled? Why was he talking like that? "Uh, right," she started, "those skills." She shook her head, unable to look away from the nonsensical outfit that he was wearing. "I'm sorry, I can't focus right this second. What exactly is going on with this get-up?" she asked. She didn't want to offend him before she could get any information out of him, but she knew she wasn't going to be able to proceed until she figured out what exactly this bizarre child was doing.
Posted: Jan 10 2017, 09:03 PM
Then suddenly, he was naked.
Okay, not literally, not physically naked. Just metaphorically speaking. Christ, this isn’t a Serbian Film. The expression of befuddled judgment slashed at the red velvet, ripping off the smoking jacket and hurling it to the cold floor. Then her question simply pantsed him. Only seconds ago he had been ready to pounce her like a virile animal. If pouncing meant staying at least a foot away from her at all times. And virile animal meant like Rodney Dangerfield in his last two minutes alive.
“I.. uhh..” instinctively the little Slytherin’s hand shot up to the black velvet collar, that very same collar he had just moments before been so very proud of, to grip it closed. Dang it. Why hadn’t he at least chosen an outfit with buttons? Though he was, thankfully, still very much fully clothed, the room’s temperature seemed to drop about ten degrees. A shiver raked up his spine, and he discreetly pocketed his
That didn’t make it any less humiliating, though.
“I..” time to think now, boy, “.. I just came from a costume party. You probably weren’t invited to it because you’re really just not that cool, mate.” And there was that defensive side, you know the ugly one. The one that all males subscribed to as soon as any inkling of rejection was spotted, “You.. you didn’t think that I was.. or that I had come here for.. ? Ohhhooo wwwoooww!” He laughed. He laughed at how stupid of a notion that was, as if he hadn’t come to that conclusion himself, and, quite frankly, how stupid she clearly was. Clearly, “Okay, well, nice try there, toots, but I’m afraid you’re going to have take a number. They call me the DMV of people. You gotta make an appointment first, and then wait eight hours in line before you can even get close to me.” Ohohoho, classic 80’s comedy! Who writes this kid’s material? Rodney Dangerfield? Though he paused for a moment, giving another once over to the older girl, “Unless you’re…” he chanced it for a final time.. but no. No. That ship had clearly sailed.
Because that ship had never left the fooping harbour.
“So what skills are you looking for, exactly?” He huffed a bit impatiently, still holding his robe tightly closed, “I could list them off for you, but I don’t have all night..” He tapped his foot, the look on his face so entirely different than the one he had entered with.
Tagged: @Paley Gordon
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