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 Одинокий, lonely --- JR
Coco · 17 · Seventh · No Affiliation · In a Relationship · 5'3"
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Mar 5 2018, 08:10 AM   Link Quote
Absently, average-sized fingers with average-looking nails stroked the soft fur of an average-sized cat that had come to settle within the young girl’s lap. Shadow was an actual shadow now more than ever and Kiska would never complain for it. Today was just one of her average days – she didn’t feel particularly strongly one way or another. These sorts of days were ones that she had come to enjoy as the alternative was usually a bad day that made it difficult to push oneself out of bed in the morning. Luckily, the hard days were starting to come by less often than they had. It was a welcome reprieve and the girl could only hope the trend would last. Having never really experienced true emotional exhaustion, Kiss couldn’t help but to wonder how other people did it. When they lost a loved one, when they had some other terrible event happen in their lives, even those with perhaps a mental disorder… There was more strength in getting through each day than she could have ever realized before.

Her gaze wandered down to her lap as the creature settled happily upon it looked up at her as though sensing she were thinking too hard. Though he was still young, he could hardly be considered a kitten anymore. He had a bit more growing to do, Kiska hoped, but he was just about grown now. And grown out of most of the rambunctious nature that she had fallen in love with when initially stumbling upon him somewhere here at Hogwarts. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth and her fingers scrubbed under his chin once more as her other hand tugged lightly at the ends of her hair. Some of the most important relationships had been forged at this castle. Between magical beasts and folks alike.

As her fingers continued to play over Shadow’s fur and he continued to purr at the attention, Kiska’s thoughts wandered to two individuals in particular. Liam, who had always been there for her. Thick and thin, good and bad, stupid classes with the ones that were moderately less stupid. What was he doing now? She hadn’t sought him out since returning a few weeks ago and had only just rejoined the rest of her year in classes. And then there was JR – as usual, her pulse sped up as her heart beat a little harder in her chest. The fact that the thought of him, nevermind what he did to her when she was actually looking at him or talking to him or other things, never failed to do that to her filled the girl with a bit of wonder. A flush crept in to her cheeks even as guilt continued to plague her thoughts. Even if it was easier to deal with the whole mess on her own, she should have told them something. Anything. Liam probably thought she was just shutting him out while hanging around other people, and JR probably thought something along the same lines.

Kiss had made a right mess of things with both of them and even though the Gryffindor knew she needed to fix it, she wasn’t entirely sure how. There wasn’t a speech written out nor could one be thought up in her head. Normally one to sort of fly by the seat of her pants when it came to emotional conversations, the fact that nothing was rehearsed wasn’t a true shocker. The shocker was that it was taking her so long to reach out to either of them. Not to mention all the other people that she had been close with once upon a time. The four Gryffindor boys that she ‘mommed,’ her Ravenclaw friend that made her feel like one of the girls when she didn’t typically have too many female relationships, even that Slytherin boy that had begun to teach her about horses with patience that had surprised her… Blowing out a soft breath, the average mood made a shift to below the line as her thoughts contemplated on her loneliness once more. Entirely her fault and entirely her situation to change.

Shadow shifted then, front paws climbing off Kiska’s lap as his body did a long stretch before his rear paws followed. He gave her elbow a little head butt for a parting pat before he wandered off, most likely in search of someone to give him a little something from the kitchens. He loved being down there nearly as much as the lioness did, although for entirely different reasons. Watching after him for a moment, Kiss finally got to her feet from her perch on an exposed tree root and brushed off the front of her soft blue sweater. Not that it would do her much good. His hair always found a way to pretty much fuse with whatever it was she was wearing, no matter what it was made of. Jeans, sweaters, t-shirts, leggings, jackets, yoga pants… Shaking her head, and thinking about looking in to a charm to protect against that sort of thing, she grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder, turning to head back up to the castle.

As she did, movement from across the lawns caught her attention. The weather was certainly nicer today, so it wasn’t terribly surprising that others were taking advantage of it as she had been. But the figure was one all too familiar to her. It was the one that sent her heart racing and made her blood run warmer. He was so far away, but… “JR!” she shouted in an attempt to get his attention before there was any time to think about it further, before there was any time for her to talk herself out of it. Onwards he ran, though, and there was no hope of her catching him. The girl had no idea what path he took around these grounds on his runs not to mention there was no match for his much longer stride and the fact that he was, well, good at running. She absolutely hated it. Defeat tried to settle in but her mind rebelled against it. There would be a next time.

- - -
одиноко
@JR Zerner

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Kenz · 17 · 7th · Neutral · Halfblood · 6'1"
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Mar 5 2018, 08:05 PM   Link Quote
One foot in front of the one. That was all the young man needed to do. If he kept going, eventually, all the emotions would fade away as his mind needed to focus on the physical run itself rather than the situations happening in the world. Of course, JR was trying very hard not to keep running from his past, to keep all the secrets locked in the trunk - but hadn't it been Quincy Elkins that threw it out there and told him that JR was not only running to exercise but also to hide from the world? That he was no different than someone who drank or smoked their issues away? Maybe more healthy physically; but no different than the next person who couldn't cope with their problems and emotions.

His eyes focused on the treeline ahead of him - once he got there, the young man would walk for a while. His breathing was heavy; he had already been running for over an hour, give or take some. His white t-shirt was soaked with persperation at this point and he had left his sweatshirt under a tree on the lawns a long time ago. His throat burned and ached for water, but he needed to keep going. The lion felt the ache in the muscles of his legs and eventually, he would eat a lot of food to make up for this run. The treeline wasn't that far away. He could make it there. Besudes, he was just now starting to forget about the reasons he had started to run in the first place.

Samatha Vanstone being dead. Erik Dwight becoming his cousin. Kiska Ferdenova ignoring his letters. All of these people had been important to the young man for quite some time now - some longer than others. He had searched the castle high and low for Kiska multiple times and was at the point of letting her come to him at this point. What else was he supposed to do? Perhaps she needed space - Merlin knew the young man had walked away from their friendship and it had taken him years to come back. He needed to trust that whatever was going on, their friendship would withstand this also.

Samantha had helped him name his kitten he had gained possession of months ago; Chance was his little buddies name - for some reason it made JR smile. Like how the earth around him needed a new chance to breath a fresh air of life, his kitten was also giving him a new chance to become a pet owner again. Jack had died a long time ago; in the fire with his father. The black lab had been the only pet JR had ever had and even now, years later, JR had been hesitant in accepting the pet.

What was he supposed to do about Erik? His happiness was overruled with concern for his friend - his cousin - because Erik was worried about their relationship being discovered. Or maybe he wasn't - only time would tell, really. Yet, there was a fear that had lodged in the lion's heart as well - what if he would lose Erik now too? He lost any family he had ever had - his father, his brother, his dog - even many friendships over the years. He thought that he had done a decent job of hiding his emotions and not running at the time the news had come, but now he could run. It was a reoccuring thing for him; but it was a part of what made JR who he was.

JR! The whisper of the wind was the lioness' voice he loved so much, but JR didn't bother to turn, instead continuing to run, his focus still on the treeline, his long strides cutting the distance with each footstep he took. The pounding of his heart matched the hard pounding of the soles of his feet slapping against the pathway. He didn't bother turning; it was all in his head. He wanted so much to tell her about everything going on in his life. So very much to hold her and have Kiss hold him, the way they had years ago.

Except he couldn't; she hadn't returned his owls in ages. Hadn't even opened them and returned them to him without so much as a 'Thanks anyways'. Too bad his heart still missed her anyways.

@Kiska Ferdenova

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